If you are or ever were a gossip columnist, you really need to publish your roman a clef this month. Deborah Schoeneman's 4% Famous and former Page Sixer Ian Spiegelman's Welcome to Yesterday are being released within weeks of one another; both feature gossip columnists as protagonists, and both are laden with thinly veiled portrayals of colleagues. Spiegelman's novel, for example, has the following description of a notoriously drunk, Australian gossip:

From "Page Sixer Probed," New York Post, today:

• We'd like to issue a formal apology to kiddie-chronicler David Amsden: When we saw the cover story for the latest New York mag, which examines the ambisexual teen "movement," we automatically assumed you were the author. But you weren't! We had you all wrong — we thought you automatically got covered that shit. Sorry to misjudge. [NYM]
• Dude, brah, we've got to get us some hot bitches for Sunday. Seriously, yo, I am NOT getting up from the leather sectional to fetch my own Budweiser. [Craigslist]
• Wait, isn't Hayden Christenson gay? [Egotastic]
• Former Page Sixer Ian Spiegelman joins the roman clef party by revealing his desire to shave former co-worker Paula Froelich's head. [Gatecrasher]
• The Oscars suck. Try something more democratic, like the Felixes. [The Felixes]
• Ashlee Simpson is David Lee Roth. Sorry, David. [CityRag]

Today's Page Six recounts a bizarre tale. The facts: Abigail Vona, 19, is publishing a book called 'Bad Girl.' Her agent was her 48-year-old boyfriend Douglas Dechert. (Eww?) She dumped him. He threw her clothes out the window. Now she claims that Dechert, in retaliation, wrote an email from her email to her publisher: this email accuses the publisher of wildly mishandling the book's publishing.