The day is waning. My fingers are tired. Is there any way left for me to artificially pump web traffic to my posts, so I can vanquish Brian Moylan in the Great Gawker Traffic Whoring Contest of 2012? What compelling image could I possibly acquire that would generate more interest than Juliette Lewis' doppelganger in a hardcore sex pose with Terry Richardson? Long is the hour of my desperation. Deep is my desire to win.