Do you enjoy the exquisite thrill of the hunt? Do you crave the visceral experience of—using nothing more than your wits and a weapon—stalking the most dangerous game of all: cow?

Frankly, the Oregon militia boys are getting kind of boring. The authorities’ decision to avoid engaging with their antics is looking prescient: Without an enemy, the men occupying a federal wildlife reserve have been reduced from rifle-toting badasses to rifle-toting dildo whiners. So where to turn for your anti-federal government kicks now? Enter John Sturgeon, Alaska’s favorite hovercrafting moose hunter.

Be careful.

The dentist who paid $50,000 to shoot, shoot again, and then skin and decapitate a 13-year-old African lion named Cecil will not be charged in Zimbabwe after all.

On January 2, a man in Wisconsin shot a deer with a bow and arrow. But did this deer—a doe—just roll over and die? Did she give up? No, she did not. Instead she attacked the 72-year-old and sent his old ass to the hospital.

Getting angry about real dead animals is one thing, but now Facebook commenters are in a rage about fake ones.

It's a been a tough week for blonde teenagers who pose for Facebook photos with dead African animals. First, 19-year-old big-game hunter Kendall Jones had her photos of trophy leopards, elephants and rhinos scrubbed from Facebook after an internet backlash. Now the career of a 17-year-old Belgian model, discovered in the crowd at the World Cup, might be over before it begins because of her own hunting photos.

Good news, sporting enthusiasts: while "real" sports like football and baseball remain popular among the American public, there are indications that other, wacker sports seem to be falling out of favor.

A local politician and wildlife hunter was shot and killed by a hunting trap in the remote mountains of the Philippines, making him the fourth human victim of the "improvised shotgun traps" now used by hunters in the high-elevation forests 250 miles north of Manila.

Southerners love to kill shit — this is one of the reasons why we must preserve the Second Amendment. If you're a rich Southerner you might also want to kill shit that normal people can't kill: like, for instance, an endangered black rhino.

"I was left with an inescapable conclusion: Jews don't hunt."

For all of our gorging on turkeys today, we seem to dwell a lot on the ones we spare. Here's another lucky turkey that will live long enough to be eaten by us at a later date.

A Sasquatch hunting expedition in Oklahoma ended in tragedy this weekend when one hunter accidentally shot another in the back. A subsequent investigation led to three arrests: the trigger-happy hunter, the trigger-happy hunter's father, and the trigger-happy hunter's wife.

Eighteen days after he went missing in a California forest, a 72-year-old man was discovered alive and well, having survived by eating squirrels, lizards, berries and at least one snake.

A hunting cabin in northeastern Oregon was the scene of a mysterious and gruesome crime earlier this week, when a 14-year-old boy shot two of his hunting partners to death before accidentally wounding himself.

After initial fictional reports that "marijuana" was the cause of the devastating High Sierra inferno that nearly burned up Yosemite National Park, the actual cause has been found. It was a man shooting wildlife in the forest, and his illegal campfire started the 370-square-mile Rim Fire.

A Connecticut man was hospitalized Sunday after an ill-timed sneeze caused him to accidentally shoot himself during a raccoon hunt.

Most children dream of murdering giant alligators, and this fantasy became reality for a suburban Houston high school senior when the Texas Parks and Wildlife Department allowed him to kill an 800-pound gator who had lived for many decades in the relative safety of a wildlife management preserve.

The saddest thing is a baby polar bear in Alaska waiting and waiting for his mom to come home, but the mom never comes home because a hunter killed her, for sport. And this will always be the saddest children's story, because now the lonesome motherless bear is condemned to live forever in a zoo, in Buffalo.

It sounds like one of those schoolyard riddles: A driver in northern France was killed by a stray bullet that apparently ricocheted off a wild boar over a mile away.