If there's one important lesson that can be drawn from the blockbuster performance of Warner Bros.' The Dark Knight, it's that audiences aren't afraid of a comic-book movie that takes a walk on the dark, grim side. However, the same can't necessarily be said for Fox topper Tom Rothman (the bane of AICN) who greenlit two Fantastic Four movies, hired Brett Ratner to direct X3, and now is allegedly mucking with the X-Men spinoff Wolverine. Despite the fact that the gritty, Hugh Jackman-topped film was met with a giddy response at this year's Comic-Con, Jeff Wells says that Rothman is pressuring director Gavin Hood to make the movie more kid-friendly — and when Hood won't cave, Rothman is taking matters into his own hands:

I have to admit I didn't know that people actually physically picked up and visited and/ or moved to New Zealand just because they loved the Lord of the Rings movies. This is a fact, apparently, but what's the rationale? Hoping to run into a fantasy battle scene? I don't see it. Nevertheless, Australia is now planning to use a movie to lure in similar hordes of easily manipulated child-like Hollywood fans. If you go there you'll probably have sex with Nicole Kidman!

As noted here yesterday, we missed the Fox PR Caravan to San Diego Comic-Con, but that shouldn't suggest we don't (or you shouldn't) care about the geek gangbang unfolding as we speak. To the contrary, we've actually managed to find a handful of highlights worth passing along, from Rose McGowan's overactive tongue to Benicio Del Toro's narcolepsy to an all-Lego Batman — and more! It's the next best thing to not being there, we promise! ·You'll never believe it, but Nikki Finke also stayed home, instead publishing dispatches by the New Times chain's resident nerd-hack Luke Y. Thompson. And what a run he's had, with his marathon Thursday bringing us hints at a Keanu Reeves love-in (we'll get to that) and the indelible image of Rose McGowan's Red Sonja knife-licking. She and Robert Rodriguez apparently remain a couple despite all kinds of fun rumors otherwise and, obviously, despite the worst movie poster to ever debut at Comic-Con. That said, hemogravy is hot with the ladies these days, so maybe we're the ones out of touch.·LYT draws praise, meanwhile, from David Poland, who also decided to crunch some numbers from the comfort of his own couch:

Deciphering your moviegoing options for the third week running, Defamer Attractions returns today with a look at the final weekend before the studios spill summer in our lap. Today we gauge Tina Fey's chances for box office superiority, corral the highest-profile dog since 88 Minutes (that was only last week? Really?), recommend a certain Oscar-winning actress's directing debut and scan the new arrivals shelf for DVD's of notice. As always, our opinions are our own, but they're also right. You can thank us later!

· Quick—take shelter inside this cardboard Tauntaun! It's the Sweded version of The Empire Strikes Back! [YouTube via /Film]
· Videogum wonders where The Strangers, aka The Blair Floppy/Creepy Mask Project, really takes place. [Videogum]
· The Yogurt Elders have spoken: At long last, Pinkberry can hold its head up high and declare itself to be the real thing. [Eater LA]
· The Hoff ordered to pay $25,000 a month in Hasselmony. [USA Today]
· Enjoy these new production stills from Baz Luhrmann's upcoming Ralph Lauren Safari campaign movie, Australia. Check out that Hugh Jackman—now that's how you crack a whip! And don't forget Nicole Kidman—now that's how you cough up blood into a lace kerchief and look frail! [Australiamovie.com, iesb.net]

· Atta boy, Fox! The network flatly refuses to pay an FCC fine of $91,000 for Married by America (is that the one with the midgets? Or the fake prince?), for the 2003 reality show's depiction of "contestants licking whipped cream off strippers." Fellow networks stand in quiet solidarity, with Ben Silverman observing that "the fine sets a dangerous precedent, not to mention potentially ruining our sweeps week My Dad is Better Than Your Dad father-daughter whipped-cream surprise!" [Variety]
· Smashing Pumpkins sue Virgin Records for cheapening their name by using their music and likeness in a crass Pepsi Stuff promotion. Billy Corgan also wants everyone to check out "1979," and "Tonight, Tonight," both to appear on Guitar Hero IV! It'll be Smashsational! [Variety]
· In a reverse-engineered comic-book-movie-making miracle, Hugh Jackman teams with Virgin Comics to create Nowhere Man, a new comic specifically designed to then be adapted for Jackman to star in on the big screen, and featuring the first superhero to harness the power of showtunes to defeat evil. [Variety]

In a development that will probably surprise no one save the Hugh Jackman producing partner who counseled the star, "You know what we be an inspired career move, Hugh? Let's get you into a TV project with casinos. But not Vegas—someone's done that already, I think? Oh, also? There should be SINGING! And a murrrrder!," the debut of CBS's conceptually adventurous Viva Laughlin bombed so badly that network corporate overlord Les Moonves may order the execution of everyone involved after its next airing. Reports TV Week on the Nielsen carnage:

A Rosieless The View hasn't quite been the must-see daytime TV minefield of recent months, but even its gentler incarnation has something to offer viewers looking for their daily dose of ribald and uncensored yenta talk. (From what we hear—we can't really be bothered to tune in without the threat of Elisabeth Hasselbeck getting her face eaten off at any moment hanging over the proceedings.) According to ever-vigilant AfterElton.com, however, Joy Behar couldn't resist bringing up the topic of Hugh Jackman, to whom all signs point to Gay:

If while flipping through the pages of a Spider-Man comic book or watching a DVD of one of the wildly successful movie adaptations starring the character, you've ever found yourself saying, "You know what? This superhero stuff would be pretty good if there were some singing and dancing involved. These people are really leaving a lot of money on the table by not putting this on Broadway," today is truly a happy day. Marvel Comics has revealed plans for Spider-Man: The Musical, which will be directed by The Lion King's Julie Taymor, and, in a true masterstroke of surreality, feature original music by Bono and The Edge. In its story on the big announcement, the LAT notes some of the the technical challenges Taymor will face on the seemingly insane quest she's about to undertake:

Above are some of the highlights from a massive Hollywood memorabilia auction that brought in over $2 million yesterday, including $115,000 for a rare Wizard of Oz "Winkie" witch's guard costume, and the same for a Superman costume worn by Christopher Reeve in Superman: The Movie. (The entire catalog is available here.) Val Kilmer's Batman Forever batsuit brought in $63,250, a respectable sum considering it had not yet been retrofitted with accoutrements like the latex batnipples and a titanium-reinforced codpiece that would characterize the schizophrenic hero's "Kinky Clooney" era. And while we don't have the final figures on Wolverine's adamantium claws, we'll assume that any iconic prop that once belonged to Hugh Jackman would have brought in a bid of at least five figures, just as the dance-thong from his legendary run as a high-kicking Peter Allen in The Boy From Oz did at a Broadway Cares charity auction event in December 2004.

We thought a handsome companion item to our post about Alec Baldwin threatening to shit on an Arnold Schwarzenegger documentary is this photo, brought to our attention by our friends at BestWeekEver.tv, of a lovingly handcrafted Christian-Bale-on-the-crapper figurine, as precious and detailed as anything Hagen-Renaker has ever produced, and sure to only increase in value with time. The eBay craftsman selling "The Bathroom Man" is willing to hand sculpt your purchase to look like you, but why have a boring, non-celebrity such as yourself immortalized talking a miniature, poorly aimed crap (or are those cinnamon buns?) on the floor, when you can proudly display an unmasked Batman doing the same? And for those for whom the $139.99 price point is not an issue, may we suggest ordering a second sculpture, featuring the likeness of Bale's The Prestige co-star, Hugh Jackman—a handsome, bookend companion that would complete a diorama scenario of the two magician nemeses going head-to-head in a mantelshelf crap-off.

Lay your head on your desk and have a quick nap. You've been back to work for minutes, and deserve a little break. When you awake, treat yourself to the weekend box office numbers:

Variety announced today that Seed Prods., the production entity happily married Hugh Jackman set up with his handsome (professional) life partner John Palermo, will be making a movie for Fox 2000. What this means for you—beyond any frivolous, giggly satisfaction derived from reading yet another headline announcing "Jackman's Seed planted" with his longtime producing companion—is that your long wait to see Jackman serenade his way through a screen version of the 1945 Rodgers & Hammerstein musical Carousel is soon over:

• X-Men-3:The Last Standing Ovation Trailer [YouTube]

· Donald Trump and producer R.J. Cutler are planning a Monopoly-based reality series, the specifics of which are still shadowy. All that is known that a monocled, tuxedoed Trump will end each show by stiltedly reading the phrase "Do not pass Go, do not collect two hundred dollars" to a disappointed contestant from a cue card. And if the contestant is an attractive woman, he will then invite her to retrieve a "Get Out Of Jail Free" card from his trousers with her teeth. [Variety]
· Universal rewards The Break-Up writers Jeremy Garelick and Jay Lavender by picking up two "high-concept comedy pitches" for $2-3 million. It is unknown if either project was sold with the phrase "Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston star in The Make-Up." [THR]
· "What do you mean that Russell Crowe is out? Shit! OK, get me someone who's still Australian, but far nancier." [Variety]
· Larry Hagman and Kathleen Turner, both still alive (who knew?), sign on for multi-episode arcs on Nip/Tuck. [THR]
· The Dept. of Labor is investigating the WGA for allegedly failing to pay members millions in compensation from foreign taxes, a probe that is not, as far as anyone can tell (yet, anyway), secretly funded by producers, networks, and studios. [Variety]

· Please don't read anything untoward into the phrase "expand their relationship" or jump to conclusions about what kind of "modestly budgeted films with local talent" that Hugh Jackman and his partner might make. You're better than that, we know you are. [Variety]
· Bacon Plots His Revenge: You either want to read about that, or you don't. [THR]
· An upfront standoff ends as ABC drops its demand that advertisers pay for viewers who watch their shows on DVRs, but the net reserves the right to later extort ad buyers over potential viewers who intend to watch a show but never get around to it. [Variety]
· Cybill Shepherd will dabble in some girl-girl action as a member of the cast of The L Word, playing a married mother who begins to question her sexuality when surrounded by incredibly hot lesbians. [THR]
· THR launches The Hollywood Reporter ESQ, a trade paper for the people in the industry who write the contracts and lovingly sign cease and desist letters. Don't miss the first issue's centerfold spread, featuring entertainment law legend Bert Fields splayed on a bearskin rug before a cozy fire, his natural state covered by nothing but one of his books on Shakespeare. A small book. [THR]

Just two days after Ryan Seacrest's ass was extricated from a collapsed glass coffee table by some extremely secure firemen, "musical competition-emceeing heartthrobs surrounded by hunks in uniform" week continues with this photo of Tony Awards host and X-Men: The Last Stand star Hugh Jackman, with co-stars Kelsey Grammer and Halle Berry, in a morale-raising PR stop aboard the USS Kearsarge. At one point, USA Today reports, Jackman told the crowd, "Not everyone can get their photo with Halle, [but] I do have Halle's phone number here." The ruse instantly served its purpose, with all 1500 voracious servicemen pouncing on Jackman at once in a chaotic attempt at collecting the exclusive digits. White pants, caps, and scarves flew every which way, until all that was left was a massive, groaning mound of twisted male limbs. Minutes later, a battered Jackman crawled out with a wholely satisfied look on his face, the crumpled, blank piece of paper still clutched in his sailor-sullied hands.

X-Men: The Last Stand star Hugh Jackman is about as versatile a performer as they come, always thrilling audiences regardless of whether he's sashaying his way through Tony Awards hosting duties, or roughing up mutant bad guys in a butch set of mutton chops and shiny adamantium claws. Jackman's biggest fan, however, has got to be his wife Deborra-Lee Furness (pictured left, and here, with Jackman's longtime producing companion John Palermo). Jackman took Furness' cougar paw in marriage a decade ago, and she has since bore the actor two adopted children—but that doesn't mean she doesn't know how to keep things fresh in the boudoir:

"Are we having a racist moment here?" Those are the words that brought a BBC radio interview to a screeching halt yesterday by Halle Berry, there to promote X-Men: The Last Stand with her co-star, Hugh Jackman. By way of flashback, let's piece back together what led up to it, with the help of the AP:

· Hugh Jackman may be crowned King of Cannes, with both X Men: The Last Stand and The Fountain premiering at the festival. His first royal act will be to require that everyone join him for a mandatory showtune singing session in the town square to begin each day. [Variety]
· Not content to run Blockbuster nearly out of business, Netflix obtains a patent for its "DVD rentals by mail, unless the postman steals them" business model, then immediately sues the chain for stealing their idea. [THR]
· A federal judge finds that The WB's Smallville may be infringing on the copyrighted "Superboy" character, created by Jerome Siegel. No person, however, can claim a copyright on Smallville actor Tom Welling's pretty-boy looks, the true star of the show. [Variety]
· Congenitally perky early morning TV presence Kate Couric abandons NBC's Today Show to join Les Moonves' CBS harem as evening news anchor and 60 Minutes correspondent. Yeah, we really don't care either. [THR]
· Parker Posey will join ABC's Boston Legal for a three episode arc, during which extra set builders will be on hand to replace the scenery chewed to splinters by the combination of William Shatner, James Spader, and their temporary guest star. [THR]