What to do if you have a magazine assignment, but the mag folds days before you're scheduled to leave for freaking Alaska? If the trip's already paid for, you go anyway and hope to shop the resulting piece to another publication. That was the case with Jessica Pilot (of the infamous "Hipster Hooker" story) and Radar. "It was purchased on [editor] Maer [Roshan's] card, so I guess I'm good to go," she told us.First order of business in Wasilla: a good old-fashioned house party.

Hey, remember that CNN freelancer who was looking for people bartering sex to get their masters thesis edited or kitchen renovated or taxes done or whatever? It was kind of an uphill battle, since the freelancer ruled out using anonymous sources. But she still managed to find one sex trader! It all started with a young a college coed spending a semester in hot, steamy Brazil, dying for the rainforest tour no one would give her — until she met a native busboy at the local resort. And then... (cue steamy music)

MTV just sent a PR pitch about their new Model Makers show to the wrong person. Socialite-publishing heiress and professional unpaid blogger Emily Brill used to be chubby, slimmed down, and is pissed about the show's message. It does sound annoying—we never thought we'd say this, but we agree with Emily Brill's objections! "Have you always wanted to model but don't know where to start? Maybe you don't know the right people. Maybe you are not thin enough…"

Freelancer-helping website Mediabistro announces confused porn mag Playgirl is closing, while their How to Pitch Playgirl advertisement runs next to it. Freelancers: you'll have to send your "Erotic Encounters" elsewhere.

From a ProfNet query: "I'm looking for someone who could talk about the effects of global warming on the kitten population. Several shelters have said they've seen a large increase in the number of kittens born in the past two years."

A query from a freelancer working on a piece for CNN found its way to us today. They're looking for subjects that have traded sex for goods and services—you know, "used casual sex to get someone to assemble that Ikea shelving unit... help you move, do your taxes, edit your masters thesis, cut you a deal on the rent, or any other favor?" Personally? No; I put together my own shelving units and pay people to do my taxes, thanks. But we will not judge if you don't, especially since they'd also like to hear from those who have been offered sex in exchange for mildly frustrating menial labor. Click for the full query and see if you can help—the writer's deadline is July 24th!

Asylum.com, a "new men's lifestyle site," is hiring a staff editor. They need someone with a "strong writing voice, and an appreciation for Frankenberry cereal." (They need men who are afraid of adulthood? Because that's the only thing pink marshmallow cereal represents after 25.) The job also includes "ensuring that content captures the irreverent tone of the site" and "overseeing the promotion of material for maximum viral impact." See, now we can't even tell if they're still joking! We see the best candidate as being Chuck Klosterman, former Spin pop culture writer with a talent for self-absorption, and author of Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs. Click to figure out if you should apply...

August literary magazine Virginia Quarterly Review's blog did a survey, discovering that cliché-ridden poetry submissions get published more often than not. They thought they were above that, avoiding clichés like the plague, but alas: "This was supposed to be a blog entry about how authors submit poetry to us covering clichéd topics that there's just no way we're going to print. But then I did the math... and found that precisely the opposite is true." Let's take a look at the cliché-roundup, by percentage:

From the mailbag: "I've been writing for the Voice off and on for five years, and I can say that [editor] Tony [Ortega] is the first editor-in-chief who personally responds to pitches. I think his rejection of what sounds like a totally unoriginal idea for a column (don't we have enough dating/relationship/sex columns for crissake?) is measured and honest. He responds to my pitches the same way, and I appreciate it. At least he takes the time to write back!"

From the mailbag: "When I pitched [Village Voice editor] Tony Ortega a piece (after he killed an article I spent months writing for [former Voice editor David] Blum), he replied, 'Ward [Harkavy; Voice senior editor] and I like this idea a lot. Think you could have something in to me by Thursday?' I asked him how many words he had in mind, and he wrote back, 'Sorry, I meant to send that reply to someone else. I actually don't like this idea.'"

Recently Village Voice editor Tony Ortega was pitched a relationship/dating/sex column by someone who'd pitched him when he was an editor at one of New Times' papers in Florida and had received an encouraging response. And this writer probably thought that since one sex column at the Voice is about cybersex (what is this, 1999?) and the other is the syndicated column Savage Love , it might be good to get a local lady up in that piece—especially since the Lusty Lady column had been so unceremoniously canned by Ortega's predecessor David Blum. But Ortega wasn't interested. And he sent her back a truly snippy rejection note—and in it, we discover the conditions under which he might shoot himself!

Have you heard of this self-published book Girl, Get Your Mind Right? It sounds awesome and we are very excited to read it. From the Amazon description: "Girl, Get Your Mind Right! is a book that will have you thinking about your whole life in a nutshell. It discusses the trials and tribulations that women go through while finding themselves like cheating, self esteem issues, dealing with broke men, etc. Girl, Get Your Mind Right! will help motivate you and help you understand what it takes to be a strong woman. Author, Tionna Smalls, speaks directly to the reader in a honest way and tackle the issues that most writers are afraid to address. Girl, Get Your Mind Right! will definitely be the book you read and pass along to a friend in need of a little motivation while getting their mind right." Also according to Amazon, author Tiona Smalls is "a writer, community advocate, socialite, and entrepreneur from Brooklyn, New York" who "hopes to complete her B.A. degree in Sociology at Stony Brook University." So how did we find out about this book in the first place, you're probably wondering?