Now before you get too upset, the 64-year-old grandmother in question used the garden hose to spray her 9-year-old grandson in the face, and not, well, wherever your mind just went with that headline. But she did it at full blast! And also beat his legs. And all he did was eat a generous portion of delicious, crispy bacon.

The carwash hose—underappreciated, taken for granted. Well not anymore. Today is the day the hose stands up and fights for respect, equal rights—freedom. And hilariously drenches two guys in the process.