Today marked an annual ceremony called Ladies Day, when Royalty and their hangers-on gather to ostensibly attend a horse race in the small town of Ascot in England. The exclusive Royal Enclosure also requires attendees to adhere to particular fashion requirements, which prompt the question: Dear England, what the fuck is on your head?

And another weird New York institution bites the dust: The Off-Track Betting Corporation, the state-owned horse betting business, has finally closed after years of threatening to do so. Fifty parlors were shut down and 1,000 people were laid off.

Stop the presses—Andy Rooney's finally found something that he doesn't hate! During yesterday's 60 Minutes, Rooney revealed that he'd recently seen Secretariat. Further, Rooney enjoyed the film (though not as much as seeing the horse in person).

A recent New Jersey horse race included competitors named Lady Mutada, Little Miss Macho, My Wife Knows Everything, and My Wife Doesn't Know. With that in mind, it's obvious that the announcer's commentary made for hilariously inadvertent comedy. Video inside.

A woman plays it safe at the 136th running of the Kentucky Derby today. Lookin at Luck is the favorite to win. [Pic via Getty]

Larry King was the guest on the Daily Show last night promoting his book, My Remarkable Journey. The entire segment consisted mainly of King and Jon Stewart jostling back and forth over whether or not King is truly a degenerate or not. It was great.