Since time immemorial, we have received missives from a person called The Earl Grey, the greatest social documentarian of our time. This one is the whoppingest, most stellar one yet—an awards show unto itself of the year in fashion spreads. Warning: Along the way, space and time collapse and capital letters disappear!

Somehow, the state of Florida will have to assemble a jury of maybe-millionaire and probably-perv Jeffrey Epstein's peers—because Radar hears he's backed out of his plea deal arrangement and wants a jury trial on his prostitution charge! Oooooh doggie! The money manager has also been accused of frequent touching of teen gals as well. Not to be gleeful at other people's misfortunes—plus, how can prostitution be a crime in a whoretopia like Florida?—but this is gonna be AWESOME.