As proven by the For Your Consideration ads taken out in today's Var (click the image for a bigger version you can actually read), whether you're contractually obligated to promote a respected actor's performance in an otherwise forgettable FBI thriller or a moody, serial-killer-related period drama that never quite found traction at the box office, "Nothing Short Of Astonishing!" is this awards season's must-have pullquote.

As pointed out to us by a reader, the movie posters for this weekend's release Balls of Fury and mid-September's Mr. Woodcock demonstrate that there's no hotter trend in one-sheet design than testicular imagery that subtly reinforces the "ballsiness" of either a movie's concept or its characters. In the case of Mr. Woodcock, however, we assume that this was the studio's fallback version; while the MPAA let the Balls marketers go forward with their nonthreatening wooden phallus, they probably were never going to allow the public to see Billy Bob Thorton dangling a more conceptually appropriate, 34-inch Louisville Slugger between his legs.

Yesterday, Isaiah Washington revealed that gayhab exists only in the same mythical realm as [spoiler alert] Tinkerbell and the Tooth Fairy, thereby throwing into question everything we thought we knew about celebrities' seemingly sincere efforts to better themselves after precipitating a very public and catastrophic blow to their careers. Unfortunately, this appeared not be an isolated incident, as Britney Spears is alleging that her recent Promises stay was yet another case of the fauxhab epidemic currently sweeping Hollywood. Reports TMZ.com: