There's less than a week left until Christmas. Have you finished your Christmas shopping yet? Have you started your Christmas shopping yet? No? Cool, you sound like a mature adult, navigating your sleigh through the holiday fog with ease.

Every December, thousands of people convince themselves that, because they have been to a holiday party, they are capable of hosting a holiday party.

Ah the homespun holiday party—that magical time of year when your crappy 6-floor walkup is transformed into a crappy 6-floor walkup covered in cheap twinkle lights and cardboard candy canes. Because you're inviting people into your home, and thus responsible for your guest's enjoyment (or, terrible, horrible time), hosting a party can cause of a host of problems.

Thanksgiving is a special time of year—a time when you gather with friends and loved ones, look the other way as your gluttonous Uncle George naps under the table, leave gooey-faced babies in the responsible paws of the family dog, and use any excuse to get out of the house.