If you had to imagine the platonic form of a failed ALS Ice Bucket Challenge, it would probably involve a guy in camo cargo pants and an American flag vest, waving an even bigger confederate flag, who sets his own hair on fire.

The academy. It claims to stand for inclusiveness and diversity and voices of dissent. But what happens when students decide to vote with their feet—their bare feet—and a professor calls those students "hillbillies"? Well sir, you've got a discrimination problem.

Mark Brown has made a name for himself and his pet raccoon Rebekah by uploading YouTube videos of the two sharing showers, dancing to "Chain of Fools," and generally enjoying each other's company.

This man is extraordinary. His defining white beard. His joie de vivre. His pet raccoon.

Esquire spent a couple days with Todd Palin—"the man for American now"—last year, and just got around to publishing the story, including heartbreaking details of Sarah Palin and Levi Johnston before the crack-up.

The heartwrenching saga of the Wasilla Hillbillies, the most recent installment of which features the dramatic break-up of Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston, cries out for a reality show. It could be on VH1.

I have two major issues with this disquieting viral ad for Hot Tub meat snacks [via Adrants]. First, the name of the product. Disgusting (and real? evidence is spotty). Second, the fact that this faux-documentary by the ad agency Saatchi & Saatchi is an overlong, too smart by half, stereotyped riff on hillbillies who keep an apparently retarded freak girl tied up in the basement. Somehow it just doesn't make me run out and purchase Hot Tub snacks. It can't be helping them in the crucial hillbilly demographic, either. And if it's all an attempt to show off the cleverness of the agency, well, Kentucky has ad clients too! You can watch the strange ad-thing below. Prepare to be offended, Appalachian stereotypes!