hillary-clinton

Mark Penn, Folks!

Moe · 09/12/08 04:51PM

What pollsters call the easily manipulable people they are paid to manipulate when they are no longer being paid to make up quippy little euphemisms for "emotionally-motivated ignoramuses" such as "Hockey mom": "I think the best argument to get those voters is that he's going to follow a really strong but sensible course in terms of turning around the economy. I think a lot of those voters, particularly the downscale voters who saw Hillary Clinton as a champion for them, are looking for someone who's going to be able to champion their cause, particularly in the economic area." [CBS News]

Loser Clinton Flack Blogs for Loser Clinton Magazine

Pareene · 09/08/08 05:12PM

How did we miss this? The New Republic gave a blog to Howard Wolfson! Wolfson is Hillary Clinton's reviled old flack. He's known for his terrible sweaters, terrible NPR-schmindie taste in white people music, and for being a big loser like everyone else who is blamed for the mismanaged Clinton campaign. TNR editor (and big pussy loser, JUST LIKE HOWARD WOLFSON) Franklin Foer says: "The Flack aims to pull back the curtain on the dark art of the political operative. As Howard dishes out his punditry, he'll try to explain how the likes of Axelrod and Schmidt might work through their calculations." Yes, he'll pull back the curtain and then spew patent nonsense about what we can all plainly see behind this curtain. Then he will cry and listen to The Mountain Goats. [The Flack/TNR]

Palin Squire Chews Gum Like A Tool

Ryan Tate · 09/03/08 11:52PM

If you're a teen father thrust into the spotlight because your fiancée's mom is suddenly a vice-presidential candidate, how to cope with the stress? For 18-year-old Levi Johnston, the answer is to chew gum obnoxiously on the stage at the Republican National Convention, even while meeting presidential candidate John McCain. Maybe the father to Bristol Palin's baby was just trying to prove that he really is a "fuckin' redneck" as stated on his MySpace profile. Palin's mom Sarah, who had just finished a well-received speech slamming Barack Obama, would not have appreciated further insolence from the young man who has still not publicly confirmed he will, in fact, marry her daughter as the McCain campaign claims. There's always an outside chance Johnston was merely following orders, the Republicans having gambled that a little cud chewing might play well among the "bitter" working-class whites Hillary Clinton once courted. Click the video icon to watch Levi's jaw in action.

Does Us Weekly Have A Secret Radical Leftist Agenda?

Moe · 09/03/08 10:44AM

Is Us Weekly biased? That's what Fox News has been saying all morning in light of that "Sarah Palin, Governor of the Rhythm Method State" cover. But (in stark contrast to so many of the other things we hear on Fox News) we did not want to believe Us Weekly had a political agenda, mainly because, as with Fox News, we like to forget that whoever Us Weekly is targeting at is actually allowed to vote. But in the face of mounting evidence that the network might be on to something we gave the issue a thorough examination, and it pains me to report that Us Weekly is biased. So biased. You could be forgiven for wondering if the whole rag wasn't being bankrolled by a big gay homofag! (If not Hamas!!!) Here readers, the evidence:Its owner is Jann (pronounced Yann, like the first syllable of "Yanni") Wenner Jann Wenner not only gives money to Democrats, he has such a hard-on for some Democrats his other magazines have been known to run images of Democratic candidates with sporting actual hard-ons. (Fig. 1) Also, ever since he came out of the closet after in his mid forties, Jann Wenner has been a "known homosexual." Us has a known toxic love-hate relationship with probable neoconservative Angelina Jolie. Despite her estrangement from her Republican father*, Angelina Jolie has persistently refused to tow the typical Hollywood liberal line, telling interviewers she hasn't yet decided which candidate will get her vote in the November election and allowing that she is fond of John McCain. Savvy observers will note, however, that Angelina Jolie's conservative leanings, aired most publicly in her February Washington Post guest op-ed piece supporting the McCain-backed troop surge, actually predate the conception of Bristol Palin's unborn child. Surely Us has been "keeping tabs" on Jolie's political sympathies, and quite possibly applied pressure in the case she threatens to break from the socialist liberal Hollywood homodoxy. Do you think it's a coincidence that their harshest attack on Angelina's fitness for motherhood coincided with the theretofore deadliest form of exactly the sort of insurgent attack the troop surge was engineered to combat? ("Yes" is actually the right answer to that question, just to be clear!) (Fig. 2) Today's headlines speak for themselves. COVER STORY: Sarah Palin: Political Opponent Recalls Being Ridiculed EXCLUSIVE: Cindy McCain's Half Sister: I'm Voting For Barack Obama EXCLUSIVE: Tim Gunn: "No Contest" — Michelle has better style than Cindy Father Of Bristol Palin's Baby: I Don't Want Kids But in fact, Us has been tacitly endorsing Democrat Barack Obama ever since it branded the Illinois senator Just Like Us in February. (No such pronouncement was made of John McCain, whose appearances in the magazine have thus far been limited primarily to his surprise show of support from The Hills star Heidi Montag, which the magazine immediately undermined by quoting Heidi's fiancee Spencer Pratt saying he "didn't think America cared" who Heidi supported.) Meanwhile, when Obama nakedly dodged a question posed by the magazine earlier this year, the magazine managed to "package" it (so to speak) in a way that seemed to paint the Democratic senator in a favorable light. IN ALL SERIOUSNESS, though, the media crit mob is probably right that going all "Kos" on Palin — and seriously, how exactly does a Troopergate cover line sit next to "Halle Berry First Baby Photos!"?? — smacks of hubris and recklessness, if not another outright attempt to distance itself from the heartland and paint itself as the trashy supermarket tabloid of privileged thin Blue Staters who just like killing brain cells. Either way, it's kind of tacky. But um, then, we are the ones who just spent the last hour assessing the policy agenda of Us Weekly.

Obama's Posse Heads Out For The Weekend

Ryan Tate · 08/29/08 05:04AM

Apparently Barack Obama left Invesco Field in a Jeep, and is now just cruising the streets of downtown Denver with his new political buddies, and they're all shopping and going to Starbucks like elitist gay fashion models. It's all in the animation after the jump, which might be some kind of Republican smear on Obama being a vapid celebrity but which also is definitely mesmerizing. A tipster found it on a message board somewhere. Enjoy!

Democratic Convention A Battle Of Crazy Hats

Ryan Tate · 08/28/08 08:31AM

Forget the speeches and the platform, the delegate votes and the big Barack Obama speech tonight. Political conventions are nothing if not stages on which the craziest campaign volunteers — both Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama have them! — can strut around in their wildest costumes. No one's been spotted with a sticker on their forehead yet, even though that's a trademark move of Clinton's crazier supporters, or wearing an Abercrombie shirt, even though that's the preferred apparel of Barack Obama's emptiest young volunteers. But the hoi polloi are coming to the big stadium event tonight, so anything is still possible. So far the DNC has seen hats and other attire in flavors vaguely gay, cowboyish, flag-desecrating, Mexican and just plain insane. There's a photo gallery after the jump, culled (mostly) by our own Richard Blakeley from the sea of convention footage.

Race! Sex! Politics! Six Things Americans Are So "Post-" Already

Moe · 08/27/08 02:21PM

Remember how Barack Obama gave that inspiring speech in which he pointed out that what William Faulkner wrote back in 1951 — "the past isn't dead and buried. In fact, it isn't even past" — was still totally true today? Obviously he was totally right. The past isn't past; but it is (if you have been watching cable news anyway) most emphatically post-. We are post-feminist, post-political, post-Sex & The City, post-9/11. I am almost tempted to call it the "OMG So Over It Already! Election," except we are venturing into a post-OMG era. On Monday night we watched the "fresh" new MSNBC anchor Rachel Maddow get props from some obsequious guest for coining the term "post-rational" to describe all this madness. That was ridiculous enough to seem "post-"something in itself, so we took the opportunity to put together a post-linear, post-chronological (and, of course, post-rational) post giving you a brief history of our favorite "post-" terms of this campaign (and all time.)

Hil Redeems Self in Eyes of Pundits

Pareene · 08/27/08 10:59AM

Did you watch Hillary Clinton's speech last night? She went on late, and long, but we watched. It was pretty good! She is much better at giving speeches than she used to be. We are depressed that no one does big angry barnstorming Jesse Jackson speeches anymore except the tiny white tomte from Cleveland but whatever. Her speech was good on its own merits. A well-delivered and pleasantly inoffensive series of uplifting syllables. The second it ended liberal favorite Keith Olbermann was all "she hit it out of the park, masterful, blah blah" and his MSNBC colleague Chris Matthews made even less sense, but they were quite tired from being on TV, outside, in the rain, for 72 hours straight or so. What did the well-rested print pundits say? Everyone wants to marry that speech.

Maureen Dowd Seeks Out Most Embittered Old Lady in Denver

Pareene · 08/27/08 08:40AM

How many times now has the New York Times columnist come away from a post-primary Democratic event having apparently only talked to the one insane Nobama PUMA lady in attendance? First there was, of course, the ear plug lady, who managed to get the attention of every journalist at the campaign rally. But one imagines the incomparable Dowd had to search a bit to find this nut in Denver, where the attendees are a little more carefully screened:

Clinton: "No Way, No How, No McCain"

Ryan Tate · 08/26/08 11:55PM

Every convention needs a good catchphrase! Bill Clinton had "A place called Hope" in 1992. Michael Dukakis floated on the wings of Ann Richards' "Poor George" speech in 1988. And John Kerry to this day wakes up every morning in a cold sweat, screaming "Help is on the way!" Come to think of it, maybe memorable catchphrases aren't all that predictive of success. But this year's Democratic Convention already has two in as many days. There's "yes we can," the Obama theme that already feels like an old standby, because he's been campaigning for president for 12 years. And now there's the new one Hillary Clinton coined tonight, "No way, no how, no McCain." That one impressed everyone because Clinton's "PUMAs" are getting cozy with John McCain. The Democrats need to stop coining memorable slogans every day, or they'll end up with a library of mindless partisan sayings and talking points, and might just win the election. Click the video icon to watch Clinton try and push her supporters back into the party fold.

The Tragedy Of Hillary Clinton's Speech

Ryan Tate · 08/26/08 11:29PM

Tonight was going to be a sad and even tragic night for some Hillary Clinton supporters no matter what. Those who threw themselves into the presidential candidate's long and ultimately bitter campaign against Barack Obama were going to have a tough time listening to her speak anywhere on the Democratic convention schedule other than at the triumphant end. When Clinton came out, and the cameras panned to her husband Bill, it wasn't hard to imagine his regrets overwhelming any happiness in the moment. Clinton gave a well-received speech that seemed genuinely conciliatory. "Barack Obama is my candidate and he must be our president," she said. But her most ardent supporters still have to decide whether to let go of their anger and go along with this. In the clip after the jump, CNN finds a choked up Clinton delegate who is still not convinced Obama has the experience to lead. She does have enough party loyalty, though, to say (twice!) that she's not voting for John McCain. Click the video icon to watch the emotional breakdown.

Bill Clinton Still Hates Obama Forever

Ryan Tate · 08/26/08 09:37PM

"Hillary Clinton will be on hand for Barack Obama's acceptance speech, but according to a source close to former President Bill Clinton, he will not: the source tells CNN that Clinton will not join his wife at Invesco Field Thursday night." (That's the entire story, at the moment.) [CNN]

Manifesto From Crystal Pepsi Protesters Upstages Clinton

Ryan Tate · 08/26/08 09:12PM

Remember that guy who got his "Bring Back Crystal Pepsi" sign onto MSNBC while a political analyst was trying to talk about Michelle Obama's big speech or whatever? Well, we heard from his roommate this morning, and asked for some more information on the grassroots political campaign that's already threatening to eclipse both Ron Paul and Ralph Nader. What we got back was a manifesto that could easily be folded into the Democratic Party platform, and probably should, because honestly the convention is already so HARSH, what with all the talk of war and economic depression and sexism and so forth. Also, this Crystal Pepsi thing, along with (OK OK) the other street protests, is probably the closest the convention comes to actual political dialog. Escape the pageantry for the moment and think about important issues, after the jump.

MSNBC Anchors At Each Other's Throats Again

Ryan Tate · 08/26/08 08:33PM

MSNBC's team at the Democratic National Convention needs to get more sleep and maybe also one of those massages that Arianna Huffington is giving out. The cable network's anchors are sniping at one another tonight, just like they did last night. About 20 minutes ago, ahead of Hillary Clinton's speech, Chris Matthews was talking about how some women feel disenfranchised within the party. It's a touchy subject for Matthews, who has been accused of sexist commentary against Clinton, and he did not appreciate a producer telling him to wrap up his ramble. He also didn't appreciate his sometime rival Keith Olbermann making one of those "talking" gestures with his hand. He, uh, let him know that. There's more real-life political drama and intrigue among MSNBC anchors than at the convention at this point. Click the icon for the video. More MSNBC internal fighting in our earlier roundup of Cable Feuds.

James Carville's Kicks Reveal Party Split

Pareene · 08/26/08 03:59PM

Oh, hey, look what some bloggers caught! Yesterday, Democratic strategist and original Clinton war room attack dog James Carville gave a lousy review to the first night of the Democratic National Convention. Which is his prerogative as an independent commentator, of course! Except that all the other liberals-and Democratic Party Operatives, like him-liked it, and loved Ted Kennedy, and loved Michelle Obama, and those little girls. But Carville, he was all, no, it sucked. "If this party has a message, it's done a hell of a job hiding it tonight, I promise you that." Click to see how his choice of footwear explains this bitter response to the first night of the party.

Hillary Supporter Files Suit Against Obama

cityfile · 08/22/08 11:42AM

Philip Berg is a political activist, lawyer, and all-round nut. (He is not the same Philip Berg who founded the Kabbalah movement, incidentally, although they're as crazy as each other.) You may have heard Berg's name back in 2001 when he tried to have Supreme Court Justices O'Connor, Scalia and Thomas disbarred for their role in Bush v. Gore. Or when he sought to file murder charges against President Bush and Vice President Cheney. Well, he's back: This time the diehard Hillary Clinton supporter has filed a lawsuit to declare Barack Obama a foreign-born citizen, which would mean he wouldn't be eligible to serve as president. And where does Berg's evidence come from? Wikipedia! So it must be true! The full suit below.