Let's check in on the city of Harrisburg, the bankrupt sinkhole of despair that is the capital of the great, coal-choked state of Pennsylvania. "Hey, how's that municipal bankruptcy coming along, Harrisburg?" "Oh not bad— we're selling off our collection of Wild West artifacts. Lol, and u?"

Buffoonish human malaprop generator Lee Abrams resigned from his laughably lofty post at Tribune Co. last week in the wake of a poorly-timed email scandal. Now, Lee Abrams is coming to his own defense—via email!