Henry Louis Gates, Jr. is a popular and revered scholar who has written many acclaimed books and made many acclaimed documentaries about black history (and was also forced to drink a beer with the white cop who arrested him in his own home, because that’s America for you).

Ben Affleck really didn’t want people to know that one of his distant ancestors owned slaves—going so far as to lobby celebrity genealogy TV show Finding Your Roots to suppress the segment in which that ancestor is discussed. But we got our hands on a copy of the script—and now you can read the mild interview that terrified the actor.

This weekend, leaked emails revealed that Ben Affleck successfully pressured the makers of PBS documentary series Finding Your Roots to suppress his family’s slave-owning past, an apparent violation of the broadcaster’s rules. Today, Affleck posted on Facebook to explain (but not apologize for) his actions, writing, “I was embarrassed.”

As a guest on PBS genealogy program Finding Your Roots, Ben Affleck discovered one of his ancestors owned slaves and asked producers to suppress that fact, hacked Sony emails uploaded by WikiLeaks this week show.

Four years ago today, racial profiling was America's most dominant—and ugliest—conversation. Less than a week earlier, Henry Louis Gates, Jr., a Harvard professor, preeminent scholar, and friend of Oprah, had been arrested on his Massachusetts front porch, after being suspected of robbery when, in fact, he'd been trying to enter his own home. Almost immediately, a national shitshow ensued and even the President got involved.

We hope you haven't already made up your mind about the rightness or wrongness of Harvard scholar Henry Louis Gates' arrest in his own home. Because after a full year, a Cambridge "blue-ribbon" panel has issued a worthless, wishy-washy review!

One way of communicating to everyone that you're "in the know" is to refer to people not by their bylines, but by their IRL nicknames. Everyone will know you're a poser if you don't call A.O. Scott (pictured) "Tony."

Hey look, Matt Drudge is bringing much-needed attention to the outrageous case of Jeremy Engelking, a white man who was arrested for trespassing on his own property. Arresting white people on their own property is an abuse of power.

Horrible racist Sgt. James Crowley and angry racialist professor Henry Louis Gates Jr. were spotted having beers at a Cambridge bar called River Gods last night. It's not the White House, but at least Biden wasn't there.

Funny woman Amy Poehler turns 38 today. Mr. Jennifer Lopez, Marc Anthony, is turning 41. Mickey Rourke is 53. Lauren Bacall is celebrating her 85th. Harvard professor Henry Louis Gates turns 59. Magician David Copperfield is 53. Alexis Bledel of Gilmore Girls fame is turning 28. Nick Jonas of the Jonas Brothers is turning 17. Artist Christopher Wool is 54. Andy Serwer, Fortune's managing editor, is turning 50. Blues legend B.B. King is 84. And the man responsible for such '80s classics as "Endless Summer Nights" and "Right Here Waiting," Richard Marx, is 46 today.

Ug! Hasn't the world had enough discussion about how white Cambridge police office James Crowley totally fucked up and arrested black Harvard Professor Henry Louis Gates? Apparently not!

Boston-area idiot racist police officer Justin Barrett wrote an email to a reporter repeatedly calling Henry Louis Gates a "banana eating jungle monkey," and now he is suing Boston for suspending him.

Washington establishment queen Sally Quinn knows what happens to black men in America, because once, some black cops spoke out of turn to her, at a Georgetown block party.

Well here's something that'll melt the ice around even the coldest heart out there: On Sunday, Professor Henry Louis Gates mentioned at a book-signing that he and Sgt. James Crowley might attend a Red Sox or a Celtics game together.

How many ways can you analyze 30 seconds of silent footage? An infinite number of ways! Over the last 24 hours, cable pundits, our modern Vienna Circle, have explored all the possible meanings of a bunch of guys drinking beers.

Moments from now, Henry Louis Gates and a Cambridge police officer will finally fix racism in America, forever, over beer with Barack Obama. The cable news networks are, of course, already going nuts. We, of course, are already drinking.

As Barack Obama, Harvard professor Henry Louis Gates and Cambridge police officer James Crowley get ready to share a beer, the nation finally has an opportunity to discuss racial prejudice and its lasting impact on American society. Haha, just kidding.

The only political news anyone (well, anyone in the White House press corps) cares about is the White House beer toast between Barack Obama, Henry Louis Gates and Cambridge cop James Crowley. Will a drunken brawl break out? Probably not.

The presser was straight out of Bonfire of the Vanities, beginning with an exceedingly strange two-minute-plus introduction from Whalen's attorney Wendy Murphy, who cautioned the assembled press to "leave her alone" before praising her as the "one person whose actions have been exemplary" and implicitly criticizing Barack Obama for failing to invite her to tomorrow's sit-down between Gates and Sgt. James Crowley. "I don't know, maybe it's a guy thing," Murphy sneered. "She doesn't like beer anyway." Then she nominated Whalen, the woman she wants to be left alone, to head a proposed blue-ribbon panel to examine the issue of racial profiling in Cambridge. Murphy is enjoying her 15 minutes.

Colin Powell was the guest on Larry King Live last night and the old lizard asked him about the Henry Louis Gates controversy, which provoked Powell to offer some interesting thoughts about the incident.