The latest celebrity said to be jumping on the nudie pregnant pictures bandwagon is Nicole Kidman, who was seen yesterday attending a "top secret" modeling session for a potential cover shoot with Frenchy photographer extraordinaire Patrick Demarchelier. While he's no Annie Leibovitz, and it's unknown which magazine this shoot was for, Demarchelier is a monthly contributor for Allure, Vogue, and Demi Moore's old knocked-up-while-nude stomping grounds, Vanity Fair. So whether or not Nicole is looking to appear on an upcoming cover of VF as Demi's successor is still unknown, but we took a look back at some classic big-bellied celebrity appearances in the past to see some glossy examples of what Kidman will be competing with in the Nude And Pregnant Hall of Fame:
Project Runway host Heidi Klum took a break from the stress surrounding the show's recent game of musical network chairs and got back to her roots as a model. Klum picked up a shift as a mannequin at the Beverly Center Bloomingdales and found it refreshing to get back to the basics of modeling; making the clothes look good and wearable. However, Klum found it difficult to remain silent when people commented that the mannequin resembled her and often added "but less annoying."
In its new issue with Britney Spears on the cover, the Atlantic featured some oh-so-intellectual analysis of celebrity worship within a profile of the the founders of paparazzi firm X17, which is now online. The magazine also posted a trashier Web-only sidebar, in which the paps riffed on a series of their own photographs. Along the way, they mentioned how actress Nicole Kidman "really does have a unpleasant, grandmother-ish look," how singer Britney Spears "is being pumped full of drugs and that can affect her weight" and how actor Tom Cruise and wife Katie Holmes are "living inside the Scientology Center." You really have to read it for yourself, but here are some choice bits:
Supermodel Heidi Klum signed on to be the face (and ass) of Jordache last year. They needed the help; Jordache was really cool when I was in elementary school, and since then, not so much. The company has been pushing Klum's ads everywhere—today, there's a half page spot in the Post adjacent to Page Six. Which makes it all the more pressing to answer the question: What happened to her nipples? Jordache has chosen to offset the fact that Klum is doing topless ads by simply making her nipples disappear, which is eerie, bad for children's educations, and, frankly, un-American. Sports Illustrated does some photo magic for its swimsuit issue, but this is more blatant and disturbing. The offending ads are after the jump; please advise your kids that this is not natural.
PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so send them in often—the fate of the universe relies upon it! Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line so we don't lose them) and tell everyone about how the sound of Mickey Rourke's loud snoring prevented you from getting any work done at the Santa Monica Public Library.
It's frustrating when one tries to write a real think piece and it totally goes down in flames. As happened to me not a moment ago. Sometimes the discourse just can't be raised. So, for today, I give up. After the jump is a clip of Heidi Klum and Ellen DeGeneres talking about balls. Heidi the Seal-marrying supermodel likes them, Ellen the lesbian talk show host has no idea what to do with them. Enjoy.
Compared to the last few years of beige, gold and altogether safe ensembles, this year's Academy Awards carpet was delightfully packed with surprising silhouettes (Heidi's exaggerated popped collar), feather detail that drifted nowhere near tackiness (Jessica Alba), and form-fitting strapless dresses that made actresses (gasp!) look like they have actual curvalicious figures (Cameron Diaz). Herewith, our glance at who we think stopped the show last night with their expertly picked dresses.
Perhaps to inject the otherwise snoozy Oscars tonight (no parties! Stewart again! predictable winners!) with some pizazz, the actresses on the carpet went with red dresses in all shades: Katherine Heigl, sans Josh as far as we could tell, wore a fire engine red one-strap number; Miley Cyrus proved she's still a girl, but not yet a woman, in a tight bright red dress to show off her underage, yet budding, figure; Helen Mirren proved once again that being a slightly more "mature" actress in no way means you can't look sexy. Take a look at all the ladies who took red and made it work:
Following up his memorable turn in the Super Bowl's multimillion dollar crossover ad "Jackie Moon Enjoys A Frosty, Colon-Clearing Bud Light," Will Ferrell has taken the campaign for Semi-Pro to the pages of Sports Illustrated's Swimsuit Issue, confident that he can raise awareness of his latest arrogant-dumb-guy sports comedy by fondling a scantily clad Heidi Klum while wearing a variety of amusing 70s-era costumes.
Model and TV personality Klum is best known as a Victoria's Secret pin-up and
the robotic yet lovable host of Project Runway. She's also the wife of Seal (the singer not the animal).
In honor of Project Runway's return tonight (and just in the nick of time, as the prospect of nothing but new episodes of The Rachael Ray Show made us want to plunge the closest shish-kabob skewer into the spongy centers of our brains), we thought we'd salute the competition's unsung heroes: The models, blank canvases called upon week after week to strut down the titular thoroughfare looking far sexier and more confident than anyone forced by a mentally unstable designer to wear a chain-basket hat has any right to be. And with a nod to our previous Runway guessing game , we'll throw out another puzzler: Which of these models loves the New York Mets, is addicted to chick flicks, and simply abhors tardiness? The answer is here.
• Jane magazine continues its quest to lower lowest common denominator. [Jane]
• Heidi Klum is African, too? With Seal? Who actually is kind of African, or like African-British or something? Now we're just confused. Insert apartheid joke here. [Flickr]
• Tom Cruise cuts deal with third most likeable owner in professional sports. If you're working from a list that only also includes Mark Cuban and Al Davis. [LAT]
• World's oldest person dies at 116. World's youngest people continue never to call, never to write. [CNN]
• Bush to commemorate one year anniversary of Hurricane Katrina with three minutes of silently not paying attention. [Yahoo]
• Meanwhile, Tropical Storm Debbie going to fuck East Coast's brains out. [The Bad Pitch Blog]
• FHM lays off five staffers, forced to return company badges, bathroom keys, and mysoginistic concepts of women as objects solely for the sexual gratification of illiterate men. [FishbowlNY]
• Here is a picture of Rachel Sklar's dad. Whatever, Garfield's not the only one who hates Mondays. [HuffPo]
• At least someone is trying to keep Madonna's lesbian cougar tendencies in check. [Liz Smith]
• Heidi Klum and Elle McPherson wage war over nickname "The Body," not realizing that the rest of the world just thinks of them as "old." [Lowdown]
• Matt Dillon is just as big of a schmuck in real life as he seems in his movies. World unimpressed. [Page Six]
• "Actor Stephen Baldwin is the born-again, George Bush-loving Baldwin brother, but who knew he's also a fan of threesomes in the bedroom?" You mean besides anyone who saw his movie Threesome? Also: gross. [Lowdown]
• Old Jew hears about success of David Cross impersonator, makes adjustments for age, becomes Larry David impersonator. [R&M]
• Dave Navarro no longer in love wit a stripper. [CNN]
Because we have determined that there are not nearly enough places on the internet to see photographs of fabulous people enjoying fabulous times at our city's most...fabulous...events, we dispatched photographer Amy Rodrigue to kick off our new Defamer PartyWatch feature* by attending Jane magazine's party for its Clothes Off Our Back-benefiting "Naked Issue" at a private residence (read: obscenely large home) in Beverly Hills last night, assuring her she would not be allowed to return to Defamer HQ until she'd captured the image of at least one Hilton. (Mission accomplished, but in an ironic twist, Nicky Hilton's picture did not make the cut for this photoset. You know what she looks like by now.) And because our research further determined that "you people" don't care about words when there are pretty pictures to gawk at, we usher you forward to the gallery of fabulous photographs featured after the fabulous! jump:
Things got a little tense at a TCA panel for The CW's fall schedule yesterday afternoon when a reporter, obviously still disoriented by the network's media-distracting visual assault, violated a sacrosanct rule of the press tour: While a show's star is politely dodging questions about her issues with how her character had been written recently, you do not ask her new showrunner about the time he left his wife to write a play about how badly he wanted to copulate with Heidi Klum. Reports the LAT:
