Heeb, the magazine for cool-type Jews, is shuttering its print edition, although its website will continue on. Looks like our deathwatch from last November was accurate, after all! The Great Magazine Die-Off is harder to kill than Steven Seagal.

Ever indulged in a little autoeroticism to images of Sarah Silverman or Natalie Portman and then wished with all your heart and soul that you might be rid of your cursed goy-tell foreskin, just so they might consider, ever so fleetingly, nailing you? Can't say that I have, per se, but the latest promo ad at Jewish hipster bible Heeb Magazine will show you the way. NSFW, if you think your boss might be uncomfortable with a WASPY 16-year-old hacking into his Gentile genitalia. Though really, what finally puts him over the edge might be more disturbing.

• Byron "Barney" Calame's term as Times ombudsman will not be that paper's last. No word yet on a successor, but we understand that this guy is not in the running. [WWD]
  

Last night's party celebrating the new issue of Heeb had all the ingredients of a potentially historic Gawker Team Party Crash: Jews, Media, Sex. It's the Holy Trinity of our existence — and so we decided to send Jewish, mediocre, and undersexed Gawker mascot Andrew Krucoff, along with gentile photog Nikola Tamindzic, to the LES shtetl to document this simcha.

• First the Democratic Party, now NBC: All our old friends are going after those dastardly God-fearing Red Staters. [NYT]
• Did you know CMJ is actually a magazine? Yeah, we were afraid of that. [Folio:]
• If we've got the chronology right: Jennifer Bleyer tripped through Dead show in Ohio, came to New York and found a shul on the Upper West Side, created Heeb, showed Howard Stern her ass, and quit the magazine. Then she wrote about it. [Nextbook]
• ASME wants to pick the best 40 magazine covers from the last 40 years, and we're betting none will feature Britney. [MW]
• NBC, CNN to open New Orleans news bureaus. Wow — U.S. TV neworks expanding their coverage. We never thought we'd see the day. [AP via USAT]
• Turns out that, yes, "I want all Arabs to be stripped naked and cavity-searched if they get within 100 yards of an airport," can, in fact, get you fired from your school paper, even in North Carolina. [N&O]