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Why We Need Legislation Against Dog-Mule Hybrids

Jesse · 02/02/06 09:41AM

Sometimes you come home at, oh, say, around 11:15 at night. And you're not drunk, by any means, but not you're not quite sober, either. And of course you turn on your computer, because that's what you always do. And then, sometimes, in your not-quite-sober state, things on the web confuse you. For example:

Our Prayers Have Been Answered

Jessica · 01/27/06 10:26AM


After a crippling childhood bout of Joel Stein Disease left her permanently retarded, we're happy to report that Michelle Malkin has finally made a little progress. Before long, she'll able to eat paste without assistance.

Not to Freak You Out or Anything

Jessica · 01/27/06 09:07AM


The only thing we appreciate more than our local tabloids' calm approach to interntional news is their linguistic talent. "Hamastan" will now proudly join our vocabulary as the location where lots of "Koyenization" occurs.

When Front Pages Go Terribly, Terribly Wrong

Jessica · 01/17/06 09:30AM


When we saw the front page of today's Post, we were a teensy bit horrified by the juxtaposition of Golden Globe non-winner Eva Longoria (ensemble wins are for individual losers) with a headline regarding poor little Nixzmary Brown, the 7-year-old girl who was tortured and beaten to death by her own parents. Watching the Globes wasn't that bad — that Steve Carell is such a doll. How can someone even place these two items on the same front page?

Remainders: Kathy Hilton's Motherly Nipple

Jessica · 01/16/06 05:25PM

• Kathy Hilton takes a tip from daughter Paris and goes for the midlife-crisis nip-slip. Click to enlarge (NSFW) and shudder. [Jossip]
• Sharp eyes may have noted that Vogue editbeast Anna Wintour's stepson, Samuel Shaffer, was married last Thursday to Kathryn Neale, a freelance writer. Let's hope Ms. Neale freelances enough to finance enough couture to wardrobe a lifetime of dinners with the in-laws. (Also, the wedding was in New Zealand, which explains the shocked emails we got from random Kiwi readers who thought they were hallucinating visions of Chanel tweed.) [NYT]
• And, as long as we're in the Styles section, yes, we too endured the article on teen clubs, featuring barely-legal "promoter" and Grubman PR intern Lexi Lehman. Could she reach media saturation before her 18th birthday? [NYT]
• Everyone's favorite blogging stripper, Mimi in NY, does her thing for the UK Sun. We find her graduation pictures from Cambridge particularly interesting; it's interesting what a blog and a gig at Scores does for to your appearance. [Sun UK]
• Slate hed writers go for the lowest common denominator and ask, "Are teachers who sleep with their students getting off?" Well, for all that trouble, we should hope so. [Slate]
• You'll find a lot of crap on the subway, but only the truly blessed find a bag full of Adderall and condoms. [Craigslist]

At CNN, the Dream Comes True

Jesse · 01/16/06 03:49PM


Because what else could go in a "More Top News" section when we live in such a calm, peaceful, and uncontroversial world, when political leaders aren't under corruption investigations, when the president isn't spying on his citizens, when a totalitarian fundamentalist regime isn't announcing its intentional to build nukes?

'NYT': Ariel Sharon Apparently Less Than Healthy

Jesse · 01/13/06 12:35PM


Being young and (more or less) healthy, and with parents who are reasonably young and reasonably healthy, we confess we know rather little about the vagaries of geriatric medicine. But, still, we have to wonder: Even without the patient remaining in a coma a week and a half later, when an obese 77-year-old has massive stroke and several subsequent surgeries, is that something doctors are typically unconcerned about?