The New York Post ran a story this morning about a poor young lady named Courtney Holt, a 19-year-old Boston native (woot?), who is claiming she was subjected to cruel hazing rituals while pledging the Phi Epsilon sorority at Hofstra University. It's not a sorority, "it's a cult," she claimed. They bashed her head into a wall, they said they would "kill me and slit my throat." That sounds terrible. For reasons I can't quite go into, I once had a raving band of Long Island coeds trying to kill me, and it was pretty scary.* But! Not so, says the sorority. In an internal email sent out this morning to alumni, someone from the sorority claims that Holt was an angry drunk who was violent at bars, that her mother was a lunatic who is banned from the Hofstra campus, that she trashed people's rooms and called them "cunt." Dear me! Who's telling the truth? And more importantly, who's to blame for all these girls who have gone wild?? How about sororities in general. Or, even better, that filthy whore Miley Cyrus. That sounds nice and reactionary, right? Full ZOMG sorority email after the jump.