Still giddy from three starring Esca, Times restaurant critic Frank Bruni tackles the hot topic of the Heimlich Maneuver. After interviews with professionals around the city (including Vicki Freeman, co-owner of Cookshop, Five Points and Provence) the conclusion is this: If you start choking in a restaurant, you're so screwed. "It seems that most workers haven't taken even some hour-long tutorial, though they're around that poster enough, several managers said, that they've probably paused, read the instructions and committed them to memory." That is to say, either they'll be squeezing you like a this or sprinting off to find whatever godforsaken hinterland to which the Heimlich poster has been remanded. Our advice: Find the nearest chair and slam yourself into it solar plexus first.