The Dark Knight may have its curse, Transformers 2 may have its star's busted hand and Terminator 4 may face the opprobrium of its own franchise anchor. But another summer blockbuster faces an unfortunate — if totally foreseeable — development of its own. Those viewers who remember Hancock's introductory action sequence may have been too rattled/busy/overwhelmed to have been paying attention to the subtitled conversation of its Asian bad guys, but nothing got past an eagle-eyed blogger who caught the slightly insensitive translation pictured here. Follow the jump for an enlarged image and a summary of one man's! total! outrage!Look, would we have translated the dialect into a little more elegant English, as opposed to the more stilted "Engrish" of Hancock? Yeah, probably. But we're not quite ready for the boycott action proposed by this particularly incensed viewer:

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· P. Diddy couldn't be more excited about Hancock: the first legitimately mainstream black superhero! (Don't point out the drunken loutishness—he's happy as a motherfucker and we'd like him to stay that way.) [PaulScheer.com]
· "Angelina Jolie is way too thin to be an action hero!" says whoever ABCNews.com could find to offer a quote corroborating their Angelina Jolie-is-too-thin-to-be-an-action-hero story. [ABCNews.com]
· Take a tour of the insanely huge Brooklyn mansion Jennifer Connelly and Paul Bettany are leaving, and the insanely expensive TriBeCa loft they're moving into. [ONTD, The Real Estalker]
· Wesley Snipes can travel to London and Bangkok to shoot two movies while his Totally Insane Tax Avoidance Trial of the Century appeals are processed. [Yahoo/AP]
· Here's photo evidence of Brett Ratner holding one of his five Big Penises. [VMan]

I'll admit it, I thought Hancock looked pretty cool. It's got a fun premise, a great trailer, good effects, Will Smith in full-on superstar mode, and even Jason Bateman. In short, it seemed like the perfect summer entertainment. Then, a few weeks ago that Variety review came out, and all was not well. Todd McCarthy said "this odd and perplexing aspiring tentpole will provide a real test of Smith's box office invincibility." Suddenly Hancock seemed a little shaky. If Hollywood's hometown paper didn't love it, who would? Well, opening day has finally arrived, the rest of the critics have weighed in, and it seems that Hancock is not just bad, but a big steaming pile of shit. It managed to scare up a scant 34% at Rotten Tomatoes and that's only slightly better than Drillbit Taylor! Stick around after the jump to read a collection of the prickliest critical barbs.

You know that school Will Smith opened up in Calabasas? The one people are saying is a big front to indoctrinate children into the ways of Scientology? Well, we here at Defamer hate to pass judgment without at least a tiny bit of research. That's why I spent a few minutes skimming the New Village Academy's website. Surprisingly, there were no classes called "Worshiping Overlord Xenu" or "Releasing Your Inner Engram." But they do really stress building robots. In fact, the Educational Philosophy section of the site mentions robots no less than 4 times!

[Photo Credit: Getty Images]

[Photo Credit: INF Daily]

[Photo Credit: Splash Pics]

As nestled as Will Smith is in the so-called "Fluke Zone," where his stardom is bulletproof and his films are fail-safe, he wasn't taking any notoriety for granted last night on The Late Show. There, in a tender promotional moment for Hancock, the actor warmed to David Letterman's compliments by leaning in for a kiss that quickly escalated into a brave new world of gay, interracial sex overtures. It wasn't always this easy for Smith, of course, who over a decade ago was talked out (by Denzel Washington, no less) of his man-kiss with Anthony Michael Hall in Six Degrees of Separation; such newly open-minded gateway intimacy augurs great things for future late-night trysts sure to culminate, as all self-reinvention must, in sex with Jimmy Kimmel. [CBS]

· Wow—the backdoor compliments were really flying when Jane Krakowski took Letterman's couch last night, but luckily most of them flew over the talk show host's head. [Late Show]
· Behold: Today's unveiling of the massive Dave Beckham underwear ad on a San Francisco Macy's. If you think those bloodcurdling sounds at the beginning are bad, just wait until his Volkswagen-sized package is revealed. [YouTube]
· Speaking of which, we hear Will Smith has a similarly proportioned super-endowment in his new movie. [thelondonpaper.com]
· Robert Davis of Paste magazine and Sue Pierman of The Milwaukee Journal Sentinel are about to become the laughingstock of the terrible-Mike-Myers-movie-critiquing field. [Rotten Tomatoes]
·And finally: What the fuck is Mario Lopez's problem? No—like seriously. What is up with this dude? [Just Jared]

[Photo Credit: Getty Images]

Defamer has learned that executives at Sony tried to have an MSNBC story outing Will Smith as a closeted Scientologist killed. With the Smith tentpole Hancock slated for a July release, execs are clearly worried their big summer blockbuster will turn into another Mission:Impossible 3 conundrum, when Tom Cruise's anything-but-glib antics spurred petitions against the film and damaged the film's B.O. on both the domestic and international fronts. In an effort to prevent a similar shitshow come July, our source claims Sony forced a denial statement out of Smith after MSNBC stuck by their original story: