Or, at least, how to sound like a local idiot! As we prepare for this weekend's journey to the Hamptons, the life lessons are already piling up. First of all—did not know this!—one doesn't go "up to the Hamptons," one goes "out to" them. This is, you see, because of their geographic location! Still, whatever, you don't actually wait on a line (or even in one). And Moses didn't actually go south to the Pharoah's land— scholars agree he probably went north-northwest. Anyhoo, we still wanted some advice. We sat down with a regular Hampton-goer, who requested anonymity. We'll call him the Noam Chomsky of Amagansett.