The Uwe Boll of Oscar bloggers, Tom O'Neil, is at it again over at Gold Derby, where his idle hands on the slowest of slow news days has him making all kinds of trouble for one of the undisputed classics of American silent cinema. "Undisputed," that is, until today, when O'Neil asked and (regrettably) answered the positively unessential question: What was the real Best Picture Oscar winner of 1927-28?

Certified crazy man David Tarloff was arrested yesterday for the UES psychologist cleaver murder. According to the Post, the doctor he killed was not even his target. He planned to rob another doctor, then escape to Hawaii with his 73-year-old mother Beatrice, for whom he was toting a suitcase full of women's clothes and adult diapers. The Post offers the disappointingly straightforward headline: "Madman Nabbed; Crazy Patient 'Revenge' In Shrink Slay." That Saturday night headline-writing shift really needs more coffee. Can YOU do better? Alternative headlines in the comments, please.

Day two of the UES internet-specializing psychotherapist hack attack story dawns with new surveillance video and the Post headlines "BUTCHER OF 79TH ST." and "CHILLING IMAGES AS MAD HACKER SLIPS IN FOR DEATH RAMPAGE." Our reader-submitted ones were better (headline above by commenter Gayyker). But the video of the psycho killer coming into the doctor's building with a big bag full of murder implements is pretty chilling. Watch it below.

Dr. Kathryn Faughey, a psychotherapist, was slashed, stabbed, and hacked to death by "a psycho" wielding a meat cleaver and another knife in her UES office last night. Both knives were bent by the force of the attack. Another doc who came running to her aid was also slashed, but survived. The psycho escaped through the basement and is still free in the city. One possibly significant clue that we just dug up: Dr. Faughey said on her website that "Managing relationship problems with the internet is also a major focus" of her practice. Hmmmm. Like a stumped police chief laying a case down in front of Encyclopedia Brown, we ask you: What's the headline tomorrow in the Post?