Remember Swine Flu? It was this special food poisoning or something? It's back! Eight people have died of H1N1 since September in England. Experts don't expect another pandemic, but brush up on your H1N1-proof sexual positions just in case.

Thankfully, most of us emerged unscathed from the scariest pandemic of all time, swine flu. The real heroes were the pharmaceutical companies that told governments to stockpile their products. But now, $260 million worth of expired vaccines will be destroyed.

Just in time for flu season: Cosmo's guide to making your man's cheeks flush with pleasure, not fever. It should be noted that sex partners you don't kiss may be "high risk" for other contagions. [scan via]

If you were planning on taking a feline friend to Des Moines on a sightseeing trip to see whatever the hell is in Des Moines, stop. Cats (well cat, singular actually) there are being struck by the vicious porcine plague.

According to the Times, a new CDC study says between 1.8 million and 5.7 million people were infected with swine flu this past spring. Quick: We must travel back in time and warn the past that they weren't panicking enough.

Here is how he did it:

The CDC's complex swine flu education efforts have been so consumed with twittering away vaccine fears that it forgot to inform a few Michiganders of the very basic fact that you can't catch H1N1 from a dead body.

The Swine Flu is either a excuse to declare martial law and enslave the white race, or it is genetically engineered plague with no cure. Either way, isn't it convenient that President Obama's daughters haven't been vaccinated?

What's more dangerous, the Swine Flu or the Swine Flu vaccine? 'Depends who you ask. Proponent of alternative medicine Bill Maher tried to make his case again this weekend.