Guy Fieri, better known as Mountain Dew in human form, has recently been trying to save his image in the wake of Pete Wells' damning New York Times review of his Times Square restaurant, Guy's American Kitchen & Bar.

God bless Marilyn Hagerty. The octogenarian North Dakota columnist whose earnest Olive Garden review went viral earlier this year has been far too busy with her own exploits to keep up with the Great New York Times Donkey Sauce boondoggle.

Guy Fieri can't imagine anyone disliking his food, so he's concluded that New York Times restaurant critic Pete Wells' scathing — and scathingly funny — review of his Times Square restaurant must be due to a personal grudge Wells is holding against him.