The president's oil spill commission says money did not influence BP's safety decisions before the Gulf oil spill.

The Gulf of Mexico's latest plague is a "sea-snot blizzard," a "huge, slimy event" covering the ocean floor in suffocating layers of goo that could cause a "deadly void." Apparently phytoplankton create huge amounts of snot when stressed. [NatGeo, image]

Apparently Barack Obama's not-sexy-enough photo of him swimming in the Gulf of Mexico, designed to show its safety for tourists, was not technically taken in the Gulf — just an inner bay, where all water is from the Gulf. Caught!

The Obamas will spend an August weekend vacationing on the Gulf Coast. Jesus, don't they know how oily it is there? Anyway, this comes before their real vacation to Martha's Vineyard, nicely defusing the inevitable "snobby vacation" criticism. [Image: AP]