GrubHub CEO Matthew Maloney, trailed by costume characters, walks the New York Stock Exchange trading floor before his company's IPO on Friday. Investors sent shares up 51 percent to $39.20 in early trading in its stock market debut. Image via Richard Drew/AP.

Seamless and GrubHub, two nearly identical online food-ordering companies whose business model consists of providing a service that is already available for free, announced Monday that they would be merging into one giant online food-ordering hydra. The new company, which has not yet settled on a name, will enable and promote social anxiety in 500 U.S. cities by eliminating the traumatic element of "human verbal interaction" from pizza delivery. The co-founder and CEO of GrubHub will serve as the CEO of the new Sterling Cooper Draper Seamless Grubhub. The CEO of Seamless will serve as president. If your cat dies, the new organization will probably start a twitter fight with you about it.