The mashup exists for one reason: so the viewer can watch and say, "Hey, that's nifty!" Taking Gran Torino trailer audio and implanting it (very well) intoscenes from Up certainly gets the nifty nod of approval.

A peacocked network has been brutalized by the economy. Meanwhile, a Burbank studio stores away a billion dollars in their water tower. And back at the ranch, robots are learning how to come together, fight evil, eat, pray, and love.

Welcome back to Defamer Attractions, your regular guide to everything new, noteworthy and nightmarish at the movies. This week: Blart saves, Biggie lives and My Bloody Valentine sucks in three dimensions.

No remedy works better for that piercing Golden Globes hangover than the all-natural, FDA-approved wonder drug that is Monday Morning Box Office:

Welcome back to Defamer Attractions, your regular guide to everything new, noteworthy and/or Keanu-rrific at the movies. This week: Earth is doomed, Clint is done, and Che is looooonnng.

Oohh, a new trend is emerging! One in which grizzled old movie stars like Ed Harris and Clint Eastwood not only act in, direct, and write their own movies, but where they gravelly-voice their way through closing credits songs! Above are snippets from Ed Harris's "You'll Never Leave My Heart" from his blink-and-you-missed-it Western Apaloosia, and Clint Eastwood's lilting, my-god-he-sounds-old ditty "Gran Torino," from the eponymous upcoming film. They sound, um... Well they sound like Ed Harris and Clint Eastwood bein' windblown dudes. Who will be next?? We're hoping for a fabulously gristly Ian McKellan disco ballad.

Here's your first look at what is expected to be Clint Eastwood's last performance, as a grizzled racist widower taking on an Asian gang in his forthcoming drama Gran Torino. The catch: He's defending an Asian family along with the rest of his quiet, diversifying neighborhood. At first rumored to be the capstone of the Dirty Harry franchise, Gran Torino's trailer instead hints at a kinder, gentler vigilante — a surly old coot whose prostate enlargement defers only to the growth of his chosen weapon from finger-pistol to rifle to the titular automobile itself, a washed-and-waxed piece of vintage American steel not so unlike the growling icon behind its wheel. Which isn't to say Gran Torino looks like it will make anyone forget the rogue San Francisco cop (though after 37 years, "Get off my lawn" is a clever enough permutation of "Do you feel lucky, punk?"), but it may provide just enough nostalgia to bring bullet-riddled closure you didn't even know you wanted. Check all the feel-good fascism after the jump. [YouTube]