Lindsay's alcohol education deadline is up, and she's three classes behind and in Cannes. The Jonas Brothers get trapped in an elevator and escape only because they are thin. Courtney Love had sex with Kate Moss. Thursday's gossip has arrived.

A misplaced passport nearly kept Paris Hilton from Cannes. John Travolta and Kelly Preston are expecting. Sharon Stone regrets looking "like a trout." Heidi Montag's father "fears for her life." Wednesday's gossip will get you through the week.

Sex and the City 2's press tour devolves into a nightmare of TMI. Spencer won't let Heidi use the internet. Freak airplane accident kills two Travolta dogs. Food Network hobo murder plot was actually a murder-suicide. Tuesday's gossip intrigues.

Copying Ashley Dupre is officially a valid career path. Did Jonathan Rhys Meyer use the n-word? A Food Network star hires homeless guys to kill his wife. Woody Allen defends Roman Polanski. Monday gossip has many vices.

The Olsen twins have sworn off partying. Lindsay Lohan throws a drink at a hockey player. Claudia Schiffer gives birth. Is Justin Bieber dating Miley Cyrus? Shaq attack! Sunday's Gossip Roundup is no junk shot.

Lindsay Lohan might go to jail for going to Cannes. Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp are either fighting or screwing. A fight rages for twitter domination. Peaces Geldof exposes herself again. Saturday Gossip Roundup is not making this up.

Courtney screams at her assistant and threw designer garments everywhere. Lindsay Lohan gets bounced at a party in Williamsburg. Matt Lauer isn't having an affair with Whitney Houston's stepsister. Kristin Cavallari shows her panties and catfights. TGIFriday gossip.

Within hours of confirmation of their relationships, the seeds of discontent were sown—or fertilized, in Kristen's womb. Sean Penn gets probation. Kendra sex tape screenshots. Heidi Montag held captive in her own home. Here's your Thursday gossip.

She's 16 in the video; the guy is 44. Lil' Wayne gets caught with prison contraband. Tyra picks a fight with Palin. Leonardo DiCaprio is mistaken for a normal person. Ian McKellen is mistaken for a beggar. Wednesday gossip arrives.

It was about being "fake." Speaking of fakes, guess which starlet got a boob job now? Jake Gyllenhaal fears ostriches. Ed Westwick fears Olivia Munn. Bethenny Frankel filmed her childbirth for a TV show.

She will throw in a make-up consultation for free. Lance Bass is dating one of the Queer Eye guys. Kendra Wilkinson's sex tape has "multiple partners." Jill Zarin (accidentally?) teases Bethenny's baby. Monday's gossip is surprising at first, then obvious.

Will Lindsay playing a porn star destroy her career (more?). Jenna Jameson and Tito Ortiz are no longer fighting, physically or emotionally. Mel Gibson may have had sex with a porn producer. Sunday's gossip roundup is strangely porn-y.

Gaga lost a British lingerie company's "prototype" underwear; Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are a sexual dyad; Bombshell says she banged tiger; Gabourey Sidibe was mean. Saturday's Gossip Roundup is a containment dome lowered over a pipe leaking gossip.

It's how she celebrated the National Day to Prevent Teen Pregnancy. Charlie Sheen's wife owns a sex swing. Kristen Stewart says she's not sulky. Meet LiLo's new best friend: Her 300-lb bodyguard. TGIFriday gossip.

She'll profit from a massive advertainment campaign for it, even as she fights it. Sandra Bullock is leaving L.A. for good. (We think.) Courtney Love reveals a depressing sex secret. Kenny Chesney's home is underwater. Here's your Thursday gossip.

Wintour goes nuclear on the dancefloor. Halle Berry calls her soon-to-be ex a "loser." Charlie Sheen hands over custody. Ke$ha ruins a bat mitzvah. Tiger Woods' butt sweats. Wednesday's gossip roundup likes to party.

She knew they were related when he called himself P@t the R@t. Sienna and Jude are officially back together. Sandra's baby sells more magazines than Angelina's. Tuesday gossip is symbolic.

Is this woman too thin, or are we too fat? Roman Polanski breaks his silence. Jenna and Tito are back together. Jay-Z and Beyonce probably aren't moving to rural Pennsylvania, but you never know. Just another Monday gossip roundup.

Jessica Simpson wants to be Michelle Obama, somehow. Jennifer Aniston is locked in a fitness war with a swimsuit model. Peaches wore a confederate flag shirt. Brooke Shields. Sunday's Gossip Roundup is giving a voice to the (literally) small people.

Halle Berry and Gabriel Aubry split. Chelsea Handler has a sex tape. Johnny Weir and Evan Lysacek are at war. Lance Armstrong's unborn baby has a Twitter account. A topless bong pic causes controversy. Saturday's gossip roundup is making waves.