It looks like Kamina—the lonesome ape baby raised by humans and rejected by her own—will be hitting the old dusty trail again after two more gorilla moms refused to take her in.

Kabibe, a 15-month-old western lowland gorilla, was killed Friday when she darted under a closing hydraulic door at the San Francisco Zoo.

Koko. Koko sad. Koko water eye. Koko water water eye.

If you, for whatever reason, think it's a good idea to run around in a gorilla costume, let this be a tale of warning: Earlier this week, a veterinarian at a zoo in Spain reportedly shot an employee dressed in an ape suit after confusing him for a real gorilla.

The latest arrival at San Diego Zoo Safari Park is a healthy newborn gorilla delivered through caesarian section. The procedure is rare for animal births, but in this case, it was an emergency.

Attention, residents of Strongville, Ohio! A possibly-violent banana (-costumed person) is on the loose, having assaulted a man wearing a gorilla costume outside a cell phone store. "I noticed a kid in the bushes. Then he just emerged, dressed up as a banana, and sprinted as fast as he could at our gorilla," manager Brandon Parham, told WJW-TV. "He just looked like a Spartan from that movie 300, except he was a banana." How does such a thing happen? Who is responsible? When will WJW reporter Melissa Reid get an award for this sentence: "Police say the person dressed up as a banana split and headed south on Pearl Road"? We may never know. Police, we are told, "believe it was a prank." [WJW-TV]

Poor little Tiny the lowland gorilla is dead after sustaining injuries caused during an attack by his surrogate father Kesho, who was apparently became "jealous" of the defenseless tot and started a fatal fight. Kesho is definitely on our "Worst Gorillas in the World" list today.

Gorillas are so much like us! Not in the sense that they're magical creatures filled with empathy and understanding or whatever; in the sense that the ones who live in the U.S. are fat-asses dying of heart disease who love to throw up eat their own vomit in order "to taste sugar again and again." Really! Heart disease is the number-one killer among the type of gorillas that live in the U.S., and zoo gorillas really do barf up their meals and eat them again, apparently four times an hour on average—even though their diet consists entirely of totally delicious-looking, definitely healthy and not-at-all gross red vitamin biscuits!

A 3-month-old baby gorilla named Tiny, who is the first gorilla to be born at the London Zoo in 20 years, takes his first steps. Miracle of life never ceases to conjure up a resounding, "awww!"

It's Thursday, so what better a time to show you a video of a gorilla walking upright like a man—and like a boss, naturally—while all of the other gorillas look on in jealousy? That's what I thought, y'all.

Western lowland gorilla Mouila, who lives in a British zoo, just turned 50 years old! She has eight offspring and is a grandmother. Mouila had a blowout party with six other gorillas, and opened packages filled with treats and straw.

Gorillas play a tag-like game of punch-and-run, possibly to help hone a sense of boundaries and prepare young apes for grown-up social interaction and conflict. Just like college! (You may want to turn your sound down for the video.) [Guardian]

Koko the gorilla has had several pet cats, and today she is picking a new one! She selects Tigger, a little orange and white ball of adorable.

These gorillas get the equivalent of an Easter egg hunt when their handlers hide cupcakes all over their home. Watch them discover and eat them. Yummmm. Cupcakes.

The best pranks use a tired cliche, like a costume, and give it a new spin, like "Gorilla where there normally would not be a gorilla."

Monkey Bar is Graydon Carter's Exclusive Lair of the Famous and Awesome. It's so exclusive, even NY Times dining critic Frank Bruni had a tough time getting in. You know who didn't? Levi Johnston. And two of his bodyguards.