The world was very excited to meet Michael Phelps' rumored girlfriend Megan Rossee when she stepped out with him in London on Monday night and now, after a cursory Googling of her name, the world has decided it hates her.

Halfwit tabloid sex perv Andrea Peyser has a major Republican sex fetish. Yes, fine, that's a matter of record. But Andrea is, first and foremost, a professional sexxx journalist, and she takes that duty quite seriously. So it's alarming to learn that—in Andrea's unbiased opinion—Sharon Bialek (pictured), who yesterday accused Herman Cain of sexual assault, is a gold-digging slutty slutwhore bad mom welfare queen (and ugly).

Diane Passage, the pole-dancing wife of Ponzi schemer to the stars Ken Starr, penned a column for noted employer of prostitutes The New York Post today. The title is "How to Get What You Want From Men," which is ironic, because Diane actually failed to get what she wanted from Ken, since it turned out he was a criminal without a legitimate penny to his name. But let's not quibble.

In case you weren't sure, old guys proudly purchasing young girlfriends for many thousands of dollars with the help of the internet is a totally mainstream phenomenon, now. A Manhattan "mixer" for SeekingArrangement.com (ticket price: $80 for daddies, $40 for babies) drew 400 people on Monday night, the New York Post reports:

The Today Show discussed "sugar babies" today, young hotties who date rich old guys for money. Rich old guy Donny Deutsch is in favor of the phenomenon. His impassioned defense transforms Star Jones into a kettle of boiling water, steaming and screaming in horror.

Everyone who wants to get set up with a rich New Yorker on Bravo's Millionaire Matchmaker should apply here. Millionaires looking to be set up should apply here. And homosexual millionaires should apply here. Good luck!

Millions of Americans are struggling on account of the crappy economy, but can we all take a minute to reflect on the especially difficult situation in which Marie Douglas-David now finds herself? The Swedish countess, former investment banker, and estranged wife of United Technologies chairman George David appeared in divorce court yesterday and started things off by asking a judge to toss out the $36 million postnup she signed, since that kind of chump change will "barely last her a decade," and it's not like she can go out and get another finance job or anything what with her husband's constant ridicule having "diminished her self-confidence." She's now asking for a larger cut of David's $300 million fortune, but maybe a new career for Douglas-David isn't out of the realm of possibility. David's lawyer said that the countess constantly subjected her husband to long lectures on "how he held his fork or how he drafted invitations." And isn't that how Martha Stewart got started? [NYP]

It isn't easy to be a gold digger in a deep recession. You can't just expect to hit a club and find bankers standing on banquettes with a bottle of Cristal in one hand and a handful of $100 bills in the other. And you can't just stand outside the Lamborghini dealership on Long Island and expect to meet that special someone. Conspicuous consumption is out and even the men who could afford a Lambo if they wanted one aren't buying them. Fear not! You just need to make a few small adjustments and boost your chances of meeting an absurdly wealthy man willing to shower you with gifts for years and years—or at least until someone younger, blonder, and cuter comes along. After the jump, a few suggestions!

The "Dating a Banker Anonymous" girls, who quickly became America's least favorite gold diggers when the NYT profiled them last month, now say that they were just playing around! But this doesn't absolve them, no:

Our totally unsolicited press release of the day has arrived! "Hello, as Julie Henderson's publicist, I've read some unflattering blogs calling her a 'high fallutin' call girl' and a 'golddigger,'" it begins. There's more!

When it comes to interviewing the most despicable, deplorable and disingenuous Z-listers, there is no better (or worse) rag than Britain's News Of The World. After all, this is the publication that has paid the likes of Riley Giles (best known for being LiLo's post-hab snowboarding BF) and Blake "Incarcerated" Fielder-Civil (Amy Winehouse's jailed husband) to spill the most sordid details of the times they did drugs with famous people, had sex with famous people and did drugs while having sex with famous people. So, it came as no surprise to us when we saw that Ranae Shrider, aka the girl in the Mini-Me Sex Tape, had decided to grant the shame of Fleet Street an interview over the weekend to discuss her on-camera (and sans jimmy hat) romps with Verne Troyer: