New York City is getting its first LEED Gold certified restaurant. Hold your applause, though, it's an Applebee's.

The real reason behind this week's "slight" chemical explosion at News Corp's midtown office building? Karma is rip-roaring bitch. The theme at the company's overfull holiday shindig at the Hilton last Friday was climate change GOP-style—signs were posted reading "No Coal Mining In or Around These Premises," and "Oil Spills Are Strictly Forbidden in This Location." Tongue in cheek? Not? Who knows! Green is in! What was the first thing partygoers got on their way in? A good wanding and Champagne test tubes. Distributed by whom, you ask? An entire team of people in fake hazmat suits.

What better way to ring in T.R. Knight-endorsed National Coming Out Day than with this TMZ TV tribute to hinge-jawed songbird, actress, and gay icon, Bette Midler. In it, she's first called a "tree murderer"—we're offered several scintillating details about a scandal involving Hawaiian zoning laws and driveway construction—only to have the accusations of arborcide retracted seconds later, in a touching endorsement of Midler's ahead-of-their-time "tree hugging" efforts, strikingly depicted by Midler humping one like a lemur in heat. Thankfully, however, the crack-filled IV drips to which the TMZ editors are permanently hooked had fully drained before they could accomplish an animation depicting the star of The Rose fertilizing her park-revitalization project using nothing more than what Gaia gave her.

"Lending out the jet is a huge part of Jann's starfucking" says a Wenner source. Also, writes Jeff Bercovici of the Rolling Stone honcho: "And Wenner isn't much better when he's in town, where he has a chauffeured Mercedes to shuttle him the 15 blocks or so between his apartment and his office." [Radar]

In the first edition of the Dining section since 4/20, stoners will be happy to find that the section is devoted to greenage. Is that weed or cress on the cover? Only one man knows, and that man is the future King of England. Also known as your highness. Kim Severson brings us the facts on the King of the Hippies, which is a lot like being the King of the Gypsies except realer. First of all, dude's into "hedge laying." Second of all, he lives in a place called Highgrove. Third of all, he makes biscuits and other munchies under the label Duchy Originals. But perhaps most convincingly: For a royal, every day's Friday, and he ain't got no job and he ain't got shit to do. He's gotta get high.—Josh