Cryos International, the world's largest sperm bank, is working to reinforce the old, "no one likes a ginger-hair" joke. According to Ole Schou, the director of the bank, the demand for redheaded babies is "low in relation to demand" and as a result, the bank is now turning away donors. Keep your sperm, ginger devils!

A rare ginger-colored seal pup has been discovered on Russia's Tyuleniy Island, hiding under a pile of logs, hungry and alone. Its seal family abandoned it, likely for being albino. 61-year-old nature photographer Anatoly Strakhov tells the shocking tale of seal colorism to The Daily Mail:

On Conan, Chelsea Handler discussed her contempt for red heads. The conversation quickly turned into a rant about having sex with guys with fire crotches. Awkward!

There has been a war going on. A secret war that only a few select people know about. It's the war that rages between the Ginger clan and South Park.

The war on redheads continues — in a Christmas edition.

Earlier this year, Matt Drudge saved the life of Prince Harry, the UK's adorable ginger-haired lunkheaded Nazi ruler. Harry, you see, had been deployed to Afghanistan, where there are lots of people who'd like to blow him up. But Drudge revealed the deployment, breaking a media embargo, and then they were forced to send Harry back home, where he's more or less safe. For some reason this enrages the English. So the Mayor of Windsor and Maidenhead, whose name is probably spelled "Higginbobotham" but pronounced "Higgins", has demanded an apology from Drudge. The apology is probably not forthcoming. [UPI]