Astronaut Garrett Reisman showed off his love for the Bronx today while retrieving one of A-Rod's foul balls near the International Space Station. Image via Getty.

Want to read more stories about socialite Olivia Palermo's classroom incompetence? Try this and this. And if you have more information you'd like to share, send it along. We're collecting this to help the poor child. Really. [Image via Getty]

Today RadarOnline said Hurt Locker star Jeremy Renner didn't hit on Jessica Simpson because he has a girlfriend. Last month, the National Enquirer—also owned by AMI!—outed him. Are they trying to have their gay-ke and eat it, too?

Diane Campbell scrimped and saved from her fixed income for an iPad, but was turned away at a Silicon Valley Apple Store because you need a credit card to buy one. Apple wouldn't budge, even when local ABC affiliate appealed.

Mark Zuckerberg may have finally had it with all the criticism. Some users of Facebook are suggesting that the social network's CEO has punished them for having the audacity to question Facebook's business practices and make satirical comments about Zuckerberg.

Facebook sealed a five-year deal with FarmVille-maker Zynga. Details are secret, but we're guessing Zynga promised to stop doing "every horrible thing in the book" to users, while Facebook promised to stop trying to take all Zynga's money. [VentureBeat]

It's election day! And as we all know, elections are about voting out politicians who we hate—especially this year, when a bunch of "establishment" candidates could lose. Let us help you figure out who you should hate today.

How rich is the president? Thanks to financial disclosure forms we know the answer: Very rich. Obama is worth as much as $23 million. His dog is valued at $1,600. Biden is worth a sawbuck and a buffalo nickel.

Twitter changed the algorithm that determines which topics on the site are "trending," a move that knocked perennial favorites like Justin Bieber off the list. But America's littlest hackers are so obsessed with the mop-topped rocker they've already defeated it.

Last Friday, professional media beef-starter Michael Wolff called Newsweek's Jonathan Alter "the most pompous man in American journalism." Today, Wolff's column dismissively cited Alter's new book about Barack Obama. This confluence of Wolff-isms sent Jonathan Alter over the edge.

The grads at Syracuse U weren't about to stand idly by while That Rich Corporate Fucker, JPMorgan CEO Jamie Dimon, gave their commencement speech. They had a plan—a protest plan. Possibly the saddest college graduation protest plan of 2010.

Laura "Tania" Bush recently revealed her deep love for gay abortions and Rastifarianism. But did you know she also supports the Supreme Court nomination of softball-playing, family-hiding Jew Elena Kagan? Basically, she just restarted Baader-Meinhof. Click through for left-wing propaganda.

Linguist and activist Noam Chomsky was denied entry to Israel and the West Bank on Sunday, seemingly due to his criticism of Israeli policies. But who knows? It could just be that the IDF doesn't believe in generative grammar. [Haaretz]

Former Black Sabbath and Dio frontman Ronnie James Dio died today of cancer at 67. Ronnie James popularized the heavy metal "devil horns" gesture, and for that he deserves a place among the angels. Rock on, Holy Diver. [Photo: Getty]

[A flash of light erupts as the stars approach the paparazzi on the red carpet at the premiere of The Housemaid at the Cannes Film Festival today. Image via Getty]

Silver Spoons star Ricky Schroder went to Washington, D.C. last week. "I met with the Prime Minister of Zimbabwe and with the guys at the Pentagon to see if I could help them with anything entertainment related." God help us.

[This strange Warhol rip-off family portrait was one of dozens of Anna Nicole Smith's personal effects that went on the auction block today. Image via Getty]

Some Syracuse students are planning on protesting the school choosing JP Morgan CEO Jamie Dimon as its commencement speaker by taking off their robes! No word on what's underneath. Probably nothing, because JP Morgan stole all their clothes. [NYM, Getty]

Rapper and prison blogger Lil' Wayne was caught with contraband in his cell. An iPod charger! And headphones! He was probably going to use them for awful rapper things like making drugs, so thank God they've been taken away.

[Oliver Stone boasting to New York about the excitement surrounding the premiere of his new movie, Wall Street 2: Something After the Colon, at the Cannes Film Festival tomorrow. Image via Getty]