The body of Gareth Williams, a British spy connected to MI6, was found stabbed to death and stuffed inside a bag in the bathtub of his apartment close to MI6 headquarters. So...let's not jump to any conclusions.

CBS has reportedly paid a female former executive a roughly $1 million settlement in exchange for her not bringing a suit against Viacom boss Sumner Redstone for "verbal abuse and violent outbursts such as throwing dishes." Whoa, fella. [Daily Beast]

[New Orleans' Lower Ninth Ward looks a whole lot better today (top) than it did four years ago after Hurricane Katrina (bottom). Image via Getty]

The Occupational Safety and Health Administration has fined SeaWorld Orlando $75,000 for three safety violations stemming from the killer whale attack that led to trainer Dawn Brancheau's death this past February. SeaWorld says it plans to contest the violations.

The Long Island Railroad has restored "limited" service to all lines after a switching station fire ground the system to a halt earlier. Commuters can get trains, but should expect delayed service through Tuesday. Better bring beer for the ride!

Today we looked at parents unable to leave their children alone at college. This got many of you telling your own stories of leaving the nest, with one in particular delighting and intriguing.

A joint statement on Tiger Woods' website announces, "We are sad that our marriage is over and we wish each other the very best for the future." The mistress-plagued golfer and his model wife will share child custody. [TMZ]

Welcome to Monday's gossip roundup, in which we gather every horrifying new detail about Speidi's sex tape (blackmail! ultimatums!) and how it inspires Snooki's ex. Meanwhile, Brad Pitt wants to murder BP executives and LiLo's lawyer heads back to court.

Socialite and failed reality TV star Tinsley Mortimer is working on the great American novel, to be published by Simon & Schuster. Behold, the death of high society: Manhattan's princess is taking career cues from Nicole Richie. [P6]

This week people got punked by the Biebs, fired by Bravo, Tweeted by Palin, and trashed by Apple. Let's take a look back.

The director of the Bay County Area Animal Shelter in Florida has resigned in disgrace after it was discovered that an employee took home a pet pig named "Fluffy," butchered and ate it. Of course the pig's name was "Fluffy."

Larry King's last day on his CNN show has been pushed back from October until the end of the year because his presumed replacement, Brit Piers Morgan, is having visa issues. Well, maybe if they stopped giving away American jobs...

Conservative radio host Dr. Laura Schlessinger recently announced she was giving up her hosting gig, thanks to "activists" who objected to a show where she used the N-word over and over. Little did they know: She has a black friend.

[The contents of former Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich's seven storage units in Arlington Heights, Ill.—including this nameplate and life-sized Elvis statue—were auctioned off today to pay for his overdue storage fees. Image via Getty]

Liam Derbyshire, an 11-year-old British lad, has a rare condition that causes him to stop breathing when he sleeps. His parents plug him into life support every night. He's also in remission from cancer. And you think your life's tough!

Courtney Love celebrated her estranged daughter's eighteenth birthday a day late on Twitter: "youve done a dammed good job frances of destroying anything i could build." She's a "sell out," and Courtney knows how to "ruiinher." Happy birthday! [Buzzfeed, @CourtneyLoveUK]

In your comeuppance-laced Thursday media column: Bill O'Reilly tussles with Newsmax, an airline magazine that doesn't suck is discovered, business journalism salaries revealed, and the AP kills the "Ground Zero mosque."

Aerosmith's singing succubus and possible American Idol judge Steven Tyler fell off the stage during the band's gig in Toronto yesterday. This slip comes a year after an on-stage topple broke his shoulder. Someone get this guy a chair!

Eighteen percent of Americans believe President Obama is a Muslim, according to a new poll. The same number of Americans have "had a ghostly experience." America: Where every fifth person is reliably crazy. (For the record, Obama is Hindu.)

A company promoting a pill that supposedly turns gray hair back to its original color has offered Anderson Cooper $1 million to get rid of his silver tresses. That is the stupidest thing we ever heard.