There's almost universal agreement that the tactics and message used by parishioners of the small, fringe Westboro Baptist Church are despicable. Does that make their provocative protests near the funerals of dead U.S. soldiers — under the theory that God is punishing the country because it tolerates gay and lesbian Americans — unconstitutional?

The Madrid Zoo unveiled a pair of one-month-old panda twins today. They're of unknown gender (apparently it takes awhile to figure that out) and are the first panda twins created by artificial insemination ever to be born outside of Asia.

Hey ladies? It's science calling: a new study found that "a pre-menopausal woman is more likely to make excessive or impulsive purchases the further she is into her cycle." Saving money? Check that cycle. That's the word—from science. [Miller-McCune]

Posh reveals the secret to loving a guy with a ridiculous voice. Ashton's self-proclaimed mistress says he and Demi are swingers. Amy Winehouse says she's been clean for three years. Toni Braxton files for bankruptcy again. Thursday gossip has arrived.

Who: Buscemi is the ubiquitous and bug-eyed actor who now stars on HBO's Boardwalk Empire.

In your fiery Wednesday media column: Jay Fielden's Connecticut house is destroyed, Robert Thompson's rent-a-quote business is flourishing, a tale of thoughtful and well-paid journalism gone to hell, and USA Today's amazing foto feat!

Happy birthday, The Daily Beast! By cannily reading the Zeitgeist, Tina Brown's managed to keep it running for two full years with nothing but her wits and untold millions of Barry Diller's money. She's entitled to brag, don't you think?

Who: "Marty" Scorsese is responsible for some of the most influential American films of the last thirty years, including Taxi Driver and Raging Bull.

Prince William performed his first mission as a Royal Air Force search and rescue helicopter pilot today, airlifting a man having a heart attack from a gas rig off the northern coast of England. What, there was no shining armor?

Golly, isn't it coincidental that Donald Trump, who had nothing to do with that recent presidential poll he was included in, is now "seriously" considering a presidential run? It's just strange. But sure, we'll play along.

Sick of hearing false rumors about his famous father, Jay McGraw, the son of TV personality Dr. Phil, is launching RumorFix.com, a gossip site with only verified rumors and stories. But aren't verified rumors just boring, regular news stories?

Barack Obama threw a bone to the hippies today by announcing his plan to place solar panels on the White House roof. Take that, hydrocarbons. But won't the next Republican president just rip these panels off, again?

Apple was the loser in the fourth-largest patent verdict in U.S. history. A jury in East Texas federal court found the company infringed three patents in the Cover Flow, Time Machine and Spotlight features of its Mac operating system.

Huh, says here that fitness superstar Perez Hilton is starting a new site about fitness, "FitPerez" dotcom. (Perez has "four trainers," after all). We've scored this exclusive pic of the new site's content, below.

Google's instant search feature seems targeted at digital crackheads, and that makes perfect sense: It turns out Google users are, in fact, pretty cracky. They punished the company hard for slowing down by just one tenth of one second.

Bullshit-spouting fancy juice maker POM is currently locked in a battle with the FTC over its right to tell you about the made-up things pomegranate juice does for you. So, no better time to debut those fake sex-aid claims, right?

Gisele singlehandedly keeps a party alive by whispering sweet nothings. Britney's conservatorship is phasing out. Kelly Osbourne sees herself in a bikini and cries. John Oliver gets engaged. Monday gossip is impervious to seduction.

The Guardian today has a live update page for the London Underground strike, and one reporter is asking readers to complain to him via Twitter. He's also got Twitter swearing guidelines. "The formula is thus: (mild expletive) + tube strike."

Who: The owner of the most famous mustache on cable news, Geraldo is the drama-loving tabloid journalist who currently hosts Geraldo at Large on Fox News.

Today was the 23rd Tarragona Castells Competition in the Catalonia region of Spain, in which groups of "colles" made up of skilled "castellers" try to build very complex human towers using crazy techniques. More pics of human towers inside.