A New York couple is suing Guinness heiress and fashionista Daphne Guinness for repeatedly flooding their multimillion dollar apartment with her overflowing bathtub. The lawsuit would ban her from taking baths. What is she doing in there?

[Michelle Obama and some schoolchildren inspect a pumpkin in the White House garden today. Image via Getty]

Three months after its slutty debut, JWOWW's Filthy Couture has shuttered following a lawsuit from a similarly-named company. JWOWW took to Twitter today to announce she has a line launching this fall for everyone who can't live without lace bikinis.

[Adriana Lima models Victoria's Secret's "$2 Million Bombshell Fantasy Bra," an undergarment containing 60 carats of white diamonds and 82 carats of topaz and sapphire. This is Victoria's Secret being recession-friendly; 2008's "Fantasy Bra" was worth $5 million. More inside.]

In the past week, we've brought you two installments of real (horror) stories from real Wal-Mart employees. Today, our third and final installment: bloody applesauce, child porn, post-concussion drug-testing, health code violations, and employees who are very, very angry.

MTV announced a new slate of scripted movies, several of which are based on the network's reality franchises. With movies based on My Super Sweet 16 and Made in the works, can Jersey Shore be far behind?

In your freewheeling Wednesday media column: Jon Meacham joins the promising field of book publishing, Tina Brown's talking about Newsweek, WSJ. magazine is coming out more frequently, and Matt Lauer, *spotted.*

[Russell Brand hides bride-to-be Katy Perry in a sweater to hustle her past photographers waiting at the airport in Jaipur, India, where the pair is getting married this weekend. Image via Getty]

A beaver found living in the Bronx River has, after a contest, been named Justin Beaver, an homage to Canadian pop sensation Justin Bieber. And thus marks the last time Bieber will ever be associated with anything beaver-related. [NYP]

Goldie Hawn tells an awkward story about her daughter's birth. Beyonce might be pregnant. Jean-Claude Van Damme has a heart attack. J.Lo's babies are Gucci models. Wednesday gossip is a photo album of embarrassing baby pictures.

Nineteen years ago, Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas was barely confirmed by the Senate after a former colleague, Anita Hill, accused him of sexual harassment. So it's a little odd that Thomas' wife just called Hill to demand an apology.

Top-level Taliban commanders are being transported from Pakistan to Afghanistan for face-to-face talks with Afghan President Hamid Karzai and his government that could end to the War in Afghanistan. So, I guess, start preparing an unsatisfying, vaguely-defined celebration.

[This uniquely attired student was one of the estimated 1 million people who took to the streets across France today to protest the government's plan to raise the retirement age from 60 to 62. A racy protest sign inside.]

The Defense Department acknowledged today that it's allowing openly gay people to join now, following a court decision—still under appeal—that struck down "Don't Ask Don't Tell." Openly straight people are still allowed to join, too.

Beautiful moments ahead: Girls Gone Wild impresario and Douche of the Decade Joe Francis is finally "tying the knot" with his beloved, CBS Entertainment reporter Christina McLarty. In a "civil domestic partnership." We're invited! Well—to the "press epicenter."

According to a new study, the country lost $32.9 billion in 2007 from delayed flights, including $8.3 billion in added expenses for airlines. Maybe airlines could save cash making their flights run on schedule before charging us $25 a bag?

Tom Bosley, the actor best known as Mr. Cunningham on Happy Days as well as his stints on Murder She Wrote and Father Dowling Mysteries, died at his home in Palm Springs today from lung cancer. He was 83.

Taylor Swift writes an angry song about an older man named John. Anne Hathaway "cried everyday" filming sex scenes with Jake Gyllenhaal. Christina Aguilera's inevitable lesbian divorce rumors arrive. Tuesday gossip sings for its supper.

Who: America's favorite post-op transsexual, Lepore is a ubiquitous figure on the downtown NYC nightlife scene and a muse to superstar photographer David LaChapelle.

[A true American shows her love for Sarah Palin by sporting this t-shirt at launch of the Tea Party Express national tour in Reno today. Image via Getty]