Usually we think of basketball as the site of celebrity-sports nexus. Think: Spike Lee at the Knicks. But pretty much every celebrity has converged on Dallas today for the Super Bowl. Do any of them even like football?

Ronald Reagan would have turned 100 years old today, and there are celebrations galore across the country. How are you celebrating the life of the Greatest American Who Ever Lived? Let's remember the Gipper today with this classic straight-shooter moment.

Britain's Diplomatic Protection Squad will now carry tasers to fend off unruly protesters, like those who attacked Prince Charles and the Duchess of Cornwall's car in December, according to the Telegraph. Taser-wielding cops there have a great track record!

Shia LaBeouf got in a bar fight after someone called him a "faggot." Calvin Klein's boyfriend wrongly boasts about his new car collection. Lindsay Lohan girds herself for a legal fight. Khloe Kardashian tries to lose weight. Sunday gossip roundup!

After months of political wrangling to stay in power, Iraqi PM Nouri al-Maliki won't seek reelection in 2014 and will cut his salary in half "in order to not convert to a dictatorship," an adviser told the AP. How generous.

Pope Benedict is a proud organ donor and considers it "an act of love." After some publicity, the Vatican says the Pope's donor card is now "de facto invalid" so his organs don't become relics in lowly human bodies. Nice.

[The snow is everywhere! A storm in Dallas even attempted to ruin the Super Bowl. But clean-up crews at Cowboys Stadium will have the stadium ready for the big game on Sunday. Image via Getty]

Congress, having discovered Facebook last year, can't get enough of asking Mark Zuckerberg questions about its privacy policies. They just sent him a letter grilling him about Facebook's plan to give third-party developers access to more user data.

Yes indeedy, the blonde wisp-angel is performing at this year's Oscars. Also today: turns out The Walking Dead actually does need writers, Ben Affleck might be headed to Tehran, and MTV finally says no to Lauren Conrad.

The home of Italian wax figure Silvio Berlusconi — who's under fire for allegedly hosting "bunga bunga" parties and paying teen girls for sex — could come under a shower of condoms and panties by protesters over the weekend. Salve!

Remember when Obama said a transition from Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak's government had to begin "now"? Looks like he really meant now. The White House is reportedly talking to Cairo about a plan that would have Mubarak resign immediately.

No, nothing in her personal life. In her professional life. It was a big decision! Also today: news about The Avengers, a Vampire Diaries catastrophe is saved, and Julia Roberts is really really jealous of someone.

In your crystalline Thursday media column: Regent Media has even bigger money troubles than usual, News Corp is doing well, the new Newsweek is floating around, another Egypt journo-terror roundup, and rumored layoffs at Forbes.

To contextualize the allegation that LiLo stole a $2500 necklace, here's a handy guide to LiLo's kleptomania: $400,000 necklace, $11,000 mink coat, $35,000 Rolex, photo shoot jewelry, Louis Vuitton samples, her friend's clothes. Our hearts. [The Gloss]

Halle Berry's custody battle gets ugly. Jennifer Aniston could have been an SNL cast member. Whoopi Goldberg on shitting the bed. Lindsay Lohan didn't steal that necklace, she "borrowed" it. Thursday gossip has feminine wiles.

[A firebreather performs during Lunar New Year celebrations in Manila, Philippines, today. Image via Getty]

Habitual texter and convicted murderer Charles Manson was caught again with a cell phone in a "highly protected area" inside the Corcoran State Prison, according to news station KCRA. Cell phones in prison are officially the hot new thing. [KCRA]

Rapper Juelz Santana was arrested Tuesday after police raided his New Jersey recording studio and found two loaded pistols and a bunch of "suspected marijuana" — all "within 1,000 feet of a school zone." Oops.

New York's city council just banned smoking in all parks by a vote of 36-12. Signs announcing the ban will be posted within 90 days, says the AP. Now what will shirtless middle-aged dudes do while rollerblading?

[Hundreds of cars were abandoned on Chicago's Lake Shore Drive overnight following a blizzard that made the road impassible. Image via Getty]