George W. Bush, still unclear on this whole "eighth amendment" thing, told a crowd in Michigan that his administration waterboarded 9/11 plotter Khalid Sheik Mohammed, and he would do so again "to save lives." [Guardian]

Sometimes you're browsing around Facebook and discover the page of a random friend you hadn't thought about for years. That just happened to us, except instead of a friend it was our horrible ex-president. George W. Bush is on Facebook!

Tonight, Jon Stewart brilliantly called out conservative pundits for their constant, "Is this Obama's [Insert Bush Mess-Up]?" questions, and for the hypocrisy of championing Bush's policies but then implying they were bad when making the Obama comparisons. Video inside.

In her new memoir, Laura Bush wonders if she was poisoned while in Germany in 2007. The chef who cooked her food says she's crazy. Simple stomach flu, or al Qaeda poison conspiracy? Whom do we believe?! The chef, probably.

The Times snagged a copy of Laura Bush's memoir Spoken from the Heart a week before its release, and they've got the goods: Possible presidential poisoning! Peeved political potshots! And details on her fatal, "mysterious" high-school car accident.

How dumb and lazy is George W. Bush? So dumb and lazy that he can't even write a real memoir! Instead, he will write "an account of key decisions in his life." We have some guesses about what those are.

The group today released a report, called "Un-Natural Disaster," that says "the demographics of the region are being permanently altered" by failing to rebuild infrastructure, and New Orleans residents have been victims of rampant police brutality. [AP]

John Yoo, the former Bush lawyer who helped the CIA skirt laws on torture, is happy to be back teaching law at UC Berkeley, where he refers to his neighbors as "a natural history museum of the 1960s." [LAT]

On last night's episode of Real Time, Bill Maher used the tail end of his "New Rules" segment to speak about health care reform with a brilliantly offensive Tiger Woods-related angle. Inside, video and a full transcript of Maher's remarks.

Sure, he may be uncomfortable with the impoverished, but we should just be proud of former President Bush for making is through this whole visit to Haiti without one of his trademark hilarious verbal goof-ups, like "we don't torture.")

Former Presidents Bill Clinton and George W. Bush went to Haiti, and it seems Bush was afraid of catching something—watch as he not-so-surreptitiously wipes his hand on Clinton's shirt after a handshake.

Tonight, Jon Stewart had Mark Thiessen on The Daily Show to discuss his new book, Courting Disaster, which alleges that the CIA kept the country safe and that President Obama is "inviting" a new attack. Things got heated. Video inside.

According to his new memoir, a 9-year-old Rove affixed a Nixon sticker to his bicycle, prompting a leftist girl child to give him a bloody nose. We must find this girl and make her into a folk hero.

Barack Obama's first State of the Union was not a particularly soaring or pretty speech. But it was really the model every future president should look to when composing their own.

Yesterday, Barack Obama announced that George W. Bush and Bill Clinton were going to be appointed to head up a major fundraising effort for Haiti. Bush and Clinton appeared together on Face the Nation after. Cute presidential hijinks ensued.

Vanity Fair's new Tiger Woods cover story doesn't have a Tiger interview, and its Tiger beefcake photos are all of pre-scandal vintage. It just makes us consider the tantalizing magazine story possibilities that are still waiting to be written.

So, the Nigerian man detained Sunday for locking himself in Northwest Flight 253's bathroom for an hour, two days after some other Nigerian tried to blow up the same flight? Definitely not a terrorist. Just a remarkably inopportune bathroom break.

Dana Perino's 9 Favorite Things reminded me that my favorite thing about 2009 has been that we don't have to care about Dana Perino anymore. Or any other Bush people! Let us list 7 of them we do not miss.

In the grand tradition of the last two guys, Obama has written a "personal" letter to megalomaniac North Korea dictator Kim Jong-Il. But will Kimmy agree to go steady? Welcome to the middle school dance of international diplomacy.

Two groups reached an agreement with the Obama administration today which will release 22 million White House emails that were previously "lost" by the Bush Administration. These messages span 94 days. That's 234,042 emails per day. Crazy!