Ultra-fancy Miami craft fair Art Basel opened yesterday for private collectors and they're snatching up all the expensive modern art, including plenty of people buying five-figure photography prints as holiday gifts. I'd settle for a pair of gloves!

Last night, legendary actor and suntan enthusiast George Hamilton talked with Craig Ferguson about the roast of David Hasselhoff that he recently took part in. Hamiltion then laid into fellow roasters Pam Anderson and Jerry Springer. Very Classy! Video inside.

Men are chasing after Robert Pattinson. The Lady Gaga Penis Conspiracy continues! Megan Fox might be clinically insane. Paula Abdul definitely is, as are most British People. And Jon Gosselin still sucks. Presenting your Saturday Morning Gossip Roundup!

Lindsay Lohan's house may have been broken into, live! Katie Holmes inspired creepy Scientology fashion lines. Charles Dickens was a ladies' man's momma's boy. Jeremy Piven: alive. Bill Clinton: bedbugged. Anna Paquin: nekkid. Presenting your Sunday Morning Gossip Roundup:

Billionaire financier George Soros turns 79 today. Nina Zagat is turning 67. Writer/comedian Michael Ian Black is 38. The tannest man in Hollywood, George Hamilton, is turning 70. Evelyn Lauder, philanthropist, social staple, and wife of Leonard, is 73. Roger Hodge, the editor of Harper's, is turning 42. NYCLU executive director Donna Lieberman is 61. Legendary screenwriter William Goldman is turning 78. Casey Affleck is 34. Interiors man Jeffrey Beers is turning 53. Pete Sampras is 38. Scandal-plagued football player Plaxico Burress is turning 32. Publishing heir Robert Ziff is 43. Rebecca Gayheart is turning 38. Actress Dominique Swain is 29. And the rapper Sir Mix-a-Lot turns 46 today.

Britney Spears shopping with her sons Sean Preston and Jayden at FAO Schwarz ... Oprah leaving her hotel to head to opening night of Alvin Ailey ... Model Miranda Kerr bundled up for a walk ... Naomi Watts and Liev Schreiber pushing a stroller and carrying dry cleaning in NoHo ... George Hamilton leaving his hotel ... Tom Cruise carrying Suri outside of their apartment building ... Katie Holmes arriving at the Schoenfeld Theater ... Kate Winslet on her way to the premiere of her new movie ... Sarah Jessica Parker carrying son James' backpack on a walk in the West Village ... Russell Simmons leaving Britney Spears' birthday party at Tenjune ... and Ciara leaving dinner at Tao on East 58th Street.

Lindsay Lohan leaving the Bowery Hotel ... Michelle Williams walking in Brooklyn with daughter Matilda ... Jada Pinkett Smith arriving at her hotel in Midtown ... Gretchen Mol shooting scenes for her new show, Life on Mars, on Roosevelt Island ... Agyness Deyn walking with a coffee in hand ... George Hamilton arriving at NBC studios ... Zoe Kravitz flipping off photographers while walking with her mom Lisa Bonet and her mom's boyfriend Jason Momoa ... Christie Brinkley and daughter Alexa showing up to an Obama benefit concert at the Hammerstein Ballroom ... Katie Holmes leaving her apartment building en route to the opening night of her show, and later heading to the after-party with Tom Cruise ... and Clay Aiken signing autographs outside the Shubert Theatre.

♦ David Duchovny has left the rehab facility where he's spent the last few weeks receiving treatment for sex addiction. He's now in NYC with wife Tea Leoni. [Us]
♦ Brangelina has left town. The family was spotted walking around New Orleans yesterday. [E!]
♦ Madonna made fun of Sarah Palin at her concert at the Meadowlands on Saturday night. [P6]
♦ Clint Eastwood might think Sarah Palin would make a good VP, although he didn't actually say it in so many words. [P6]
♦ Break out the tissues: Holly Madison says she and Hugh Hefner are no longer together. [TMZ]