I can't conceive of what it's going to be like next week without the sight of Mark Cuban kicking up his heels on ABC's Dancing with the Stars. I was so disconsolate that Gawker Media videographer Richard Blakeley cooked up this montage to cheer me up. Let me tell you, Microsoft should be investing $240 million in this guy.
Give billionaire Internet entrepreneur Mark Cuban this much: At least he didn't faint during last night's Dancing with the Stars on ABC. It wasn't his best performance, but I'm betting he'll be safe during tonight's results show: The hypernerdy glasses he donned during an "I Dream of Jeannie"-inspired number played to his core audience of Valleywag readers.
Once again, Internet billionaire Mark Cuban is safe for one more week on ABC's "Dancing with the Stars." This one I didn't get — but then again, I didn't really understand why Yahoo paid $5.7 billion for Broadcast.com, either.
Despite Internet entrepreneur Mark Cuban's tenacity on Dancing With the Stars and his status as Silicon Valley demigod, he is not considered a "who's who" by Activision. He's been left out of the videogame publisher's Wii and PlayStation 2 titles based on the ABC show, which allows you to fulfill your most nerdly ballroom-dancing fantasies in the privacy of your own living room. But sadly, Cuban's hot-trotting shoes and puppeteer-spontaneous jazz-finger outbursts are not part of the package. Instead the adaptations stick you with the likes of Emmitt Smith and Joey Lawrence.
So far on Dancing with the Stars, Mark Cuban could do no wrong, as far as I was concerned. But last night's performance? A disaster all around. Slow and tepid dancing, and Cuban's expression, under caked-on makeup, looked like the Joker's frozen smile. Not even geek pride could get me to vote for this.
Mark Cuban is safe for another week on ABC's "Dancing with the Stars." From his grim expression, though, you'd think he was all but convinced he was off the show — note how it takes a few seconds for his win to register. Kym Johnson, his dancing partner, also seems shocked by the voters' choice.
From the tone of his blog post yesterday, I was prepared to see Internet entrepreneur Mark Cuban fall down on the dance floor, writhing in pain as his career on ABC's "Dancing with the Stars" went up in flame. Instead, the Web's ultimate good-time Charlie kept jazz-handing his way through the number, smiling all the while. Was he hopped up on hardcore pain medication endorphins or what? Still, a lesson for every startup founder: Set expectations low, and then exceed them.
If, like me, you've been rooting for filthy-rich dotcom entrepreneur Mark Cuban, then take heart: The grace-challenged terpsichorean has made it to the next round on ABC's "Dancing with the Stars." But he may not have won new fans with his moment of exultation: Wearing an ubergay sleeveless shirt, he pumped his arms straight up in the air, exposing his hairy, sweaty armpits. Then again, maybe you're into that kind of thing.
A tragedy is brewing, folks. The Fort Worth Star-Something — apparently they have newspapers in cowtowns, who knew? — reports that Internet billionaire Mark Cuban risks getting voted off "Dancing with the Stars," due to the low scores assigned him by the judges. This is a clear example of the basest kind of antigeek prejudice. "It was like a bulldog chasing a squirrel," said one judge. Whatever! Who doesn't love bulldogs? And the worst thing: California, again, has been practically shut out of the vote, due to its Pacific timezone. The polls closed an hour ago. The Bay Area's nerd-boy hotbed, Cuban's natural constituency, left out again. So unfair! We'll have to watch tonight to see how this turns out.
