At the only gay bar in the most sparsely populated independent country in the world, Zorig Alima tells me he’s a “penis shaman.” The proprietor of d.d/h.z says he can confidently predict men’s penis sizes and sexual predilections. He gives my companion a disputable “reading,” and dashes away to tend to friends and customers, explaining, “This place is like my living room.”

If you woke up this morning thinking "today will be the day I finally see Peter Dinklage working a rainbow hula-hoop on the dance floor of a Canadian gay bar," you have weirdly specific goals. But you're also correct.