You recall that we'd suggested purchasing the sexual favors of the indie auteur, which the generous Gallo had been offering on his website for a mere $50,000 ($100,000 for lez couples). Well, we hate to tell you this, but you're going to have to scramble to come up with an alternative gift for your favorite "heavyset older redhead" — Gallo has told Page Six that he's no longer able to accept PayPal, because the company had some sort of objection to being involved in prostitution or something totally nutty like that. "They are really fascists. They should breathe some death gas or something," says Gallo of his former 'Pals. Uh, right on! The good news? He's now accepting Mastercard. Now that is indeed priceless.

Nothing says "Hey baby, I bought a North8 Condo and I still have some disposable income left over — Merry Christmas" like a $280 soda-can tab necklace rendered in 14K gold. Seriously, though, if you're hunting for that special something to give your blunt-cut-banged sweetheart for the hols, may we suggest the wares of uber-Williamsburglar jewelry store Catbird? We're sure she'll love the unofficial symbol of 'burgy hotness — yes, the mounted buck head (Why? Something to do with this, we're almost sure of it )— rendered in silver or gold vermeil. Seriously, though, there's something here for every chick, and some of it isn't even ironic. Visit the new Bedford Ave. location, but make sure not to go during 'enormous hipster clusterfuck' hours.

If this were Star, we'd have to call this a 'Celebrity Dream Item,' because it's a little bit pricey — $50,000! But after you hear what it is, we think you'll agree that the special STD-free natural born female in your life is SO worth it.

The question isn't "Who on my list would like to receive an American Apparel size Medium t-shirt silkscreened with the likeness of underage MisShapes DJ Jackson Pollis?" The question is "(muffled tears and sound of head hitting desk.)" Anyway, should you have any interest in scoring what's sure to be the hottest item to be photographed in for a photo-twat website, there's a contest you can enter over at Imaginary Socialite. Imagine the looks on their faces as they unwrap this specialest of presents!

Give The Gift of Jackson! [Imaginary Socialite]
Earlier: Gawker Gift Guide

On Monday the Observer reprinted a memo sent to New York Times staffers from Publisher Arthur Sulzberger, Jr., concerning the paper's gift policy. It read as follows:

As everyone knows, Gawker readers are classy, affluent individuals whose extreme productivity allows them plenty of time to stay up to speed on the important goings-on of the internet. And, like many refined, tasteful people, they're incredibly hard to shop for. As the Holidays approach, we thought we'd make like every other reputable news and entertainment outlet and provide you with a few gift suggestion that are tailored to the unique needs of the hip, savvy Gawker demographic. They're after the jump, conveniently broken down by reader stereotype.