Click through for our Community Calendar, send your events to calendar@gawker.com and spend the rest of your weekend trying to figure out if David Johansen is still biologically male and/or human.

Click through for our Community Calendar and for the love of God send your events to calendar@gawker.com. And remember: JAZZ HANDS! SPIRIT FINGERS!

Click through for our Community Calendar. Send events to calendar@gawker.com. As a public service, you are warned that "There Will Be Blood," the most hyped movie of very late 2007, is today only playing at AMC Loews Lincoln Square 13. Crazy rollout schemes!

Click through for our Community Calendar. Send your events to calendar@gawker.com and, just like Isaiah sez, little boys will lead us there!

Click through for our calendar@gawker.com and glisteningly we'll slowly list them, working our way from the beginning of the month to the climactic end.

Click through for our Community Calendar. Do you have events? Do you lick people at them? Send them to calendar@gawker.com.

Click through for our Community Calendar. Send your events to calendar@gawker.com and if they aren't "Ignorance" and "Want," we'll list them.

Click through for our Community Calendar. Send your events to calendar@gawker.com and if they don't hate themselves, we'll list them.

Click through for our Community Calendar. Send your events to calendar@gawker.com and chances are I'll spend my afternoon Quick Masking it in Photoshop.

Click through for our Community Calendar. Send your events to calendar@gawker.com and we'll put it on our calendar, the Butt magazine of event listings!

Click through for our Community Calendar. Send your events to calendar@gawker.com!

Click through for our calendar@gawker.com and we'll privatize them! Ha! Get it? Have I gone too far? Does it matter?

Click through for our Community Calendar. Send your events, preferably letterpressed and in Garamond, to calendar@gawker.com.

Click through for our Community Calendar. Send your events to calendar@gawker.com and we'll list them like a sinking ship.

Click through for our Community Calendar. Send tips to calendar@gawker.com and we'll tattoo them on our souls.

Click through for our Community Calendar. Send your events to calendar@gawker.com and we'll shelve them prettily.

Click through for our community calendar. Send your events to calendar@gawker.com and we'll look at them on our iPhones and then we'll call that whore Felony on the very same iPhone.

Click through for our Community Calendar. If you have events send them to calendar@gawker.com and we'll list them, even after January 1st which will be my last day here at Gawker before I spend a month in London with a "lady" "making a go of it" or whatever ridiculous but essentially true thing that I told the Observer.

Click through for our Community Calendar. Send your events to Calendar@gawker.com and like our mustache of old, we'll consider it, reconsider it and finally shave it, realizing that it was horrible, and slowly grow it back.

Click through for our Community Calendar. Send your events to calendar@gawker.com and we'll direct all the Democrat zombies we know towards them.