Monday got you feeling down? Here's some natural, ultra-refreshing schadenfreude to perk you up: That overpriced coconut water your health-nut friends have been chugging is basically just gross-tasting sugar water.

A groundbreaking new study in the journal Pediatrics suggests that sports and energy drinks — those high in sugar, calories and other crap — aren't really good for kids, and that parents should focus on feeding their children nutrient-rich vegetables and other foods instead. Whoa.

Not that it was hard to see this coming, but The Business That Is Tiger Woods is starting to lose a grip on its multinational corporate backers. In fact, one two of them have gone down! Can you guess who?

The revelations about Tiger Woods' extra-curricular escapades may now be catching up with him, or it may just be a coincidence, but Gatorade confirmed today that it plans to discontinue Tiger Focus, the sports drink "inspired" by Woods' "legendary mental toughness" that promises to reduce mental and physical stress. The company says the decision to drop the beverage had nothing to do with recent events, though, and was made more several months ago. [CNBC]

Jackie Warner, star of Bravo's Workout and lesbian fantasy girlfriend to straight women everywhere, is in trouble for being mean on the show and getting called "a negative icon to the gay community." In response to complaints from Warner's former fans, salty green water purveyor and Workout sponsor Gatorade is ending its relationship with the program. The sports-drink giant told the angry mob: "We have notified Bravo we no longer wish to be associated with The Workout and will be pulling our commercials. Furthermore, we will not renew our sponsorship of this program in subsequent seasons." But wait! A new sponsor has stepped forward!