Two stories of a seemingly different sort captured Americans attention yesterday: The flight (pun!) of Edward Snowden, and the hunt for Rusty the red panda.

We're not even going to talk about this weekend's murder of Imette St. Guillen — except that the tabloids' detailed accounts of her body's condition should have come with some sort of warning, as they quite literally turned our stomach and forced us to stop reading — but we have to express our surprise at this morning's front pages. Could it be that the Daily News actually beat the Post on creating a catchy nickname for the killer? Damn. We always had our money on the drunken Australians to be the first in tasteless punnery.

The only thing we appreciate more than our local tabloids' calm approach to interntional news is their linguistic talent. "Hamastan" will now proudly join our vocabulary as the location where lots of "Koyenization" occurs.

Pop quiz, class: Which publication is positively giddy about scoring a new edition of Photoshop?