"The Ice Cream Cone, The Bob & Weave, Operation, The Swirl, The Hoover, The Plunger: Yes, these are all different types of blowjobs. Sweet Christ, people. Just suck. How complicated is it?" [Jesse on the Brink]

"Will Fred Thompson's hot-ass wife prove a liability or an asset on the campaign trail? As someone whose nads had yet to drop until well into the Reagan administration but who still gets the occasional rise out of Rosalynn Carter fantasies, I can only issue my whole-shafted endorsement. Chick has got it going on." [NYT]

"So let's be honest: You know there's some couple out there that has already spiced up their sex life by performing the Peter Braunstein fantasy. You can almost hear the conversation: "C'mon, baby, I'll get the smoke bombs and the fireman outfit; it'll be so hot!" And her resigned reply: "Okay, but you have to buy me two bottles of Cristal." Also: Even money on the possibility that at least one of them works in the fashion industry."