Remember when that video of actor Bradley Cooper speaking French was going around? I was all, What's the big deal? It's just this really handsome guy speaking fluently in the most romantic language on the planet? Well! I think I sort of "get it" now.

It was a patriotic explosion of patriotism at the box office this weekend, with our ultimate superhero and protector soaring to high heights. Those blasted British wizards still did good too, unfortunately. And some red-blooded American youths played all right as well.

As most of the country melts under the Heat Dome (screw you, Seattle), the best thing to do to beat the heat is head to the multiplex and sit in the arctic AC for a while. To entertain you this week we have a superhero, a super couple, and a supernatural tale of woe.

No Strings Attached. Friends With Benefits. Friends With Strings. Attached With Benefits. Are there any differences to any of these movies? Not really. One stars an overexposed, overconfident pretty boy who fancies himself a high tech mogul, and so does the other one. One features an actress that starred as a prima ballerina in the movie Black Swan, and so does the other one. One is a shitty romcom about falling in love with a fuckbuddy, and so is the other one. THEY ARE THE SAME MOVIE, YOU SEE. Still not convinced? Then watch this video. [via BoingBoing]

If the cancellation of Skins is any indication, America just isn't ready to see boffing kids. Also today: Julie Taymor wants her money dammit, good/bad news about your favorite future sitcom, William Shatner's got a new gig, and so does Damon Lindelof.

We already knew old people don't use condoms. But a new study shows that they're also big fans of their "friends with benefits." Figures. Casual sex is the perfect distraction from your fast-approaching death.

[Justin Timberlake on the California set of Gawker's one-time favorite movie, "Friends With Benefits". Image: Bauer-Griffin]

[Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake, unfeeling Patrician jerks, film Gawker's latest favorite movie "Friends With Benefits" in Times Square last night. Image: Splash]

[Justin Timberlake does his best Midnight Cowboy impersonation while filming a scene for Gawker's new favorite movie Friends with Benefits in New York. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

[Justin Timberlake and Woody Harrelson on the set of Gawker's new favorite movie, "Friends With Benefits". Image: Bauer-Griffin]

[Bryan Greenberg and Mila Kunis film Gawker's new favorite movie, "Friends With Benefits" right outside our offices yesterday; image via Bauer-Griffin]

[Mila Kunis was not eating fried chicken today at Cafe Habana while filming Gawker's favorite movie, Friends with Benefits starring Justin Timberlake, down the street from our office. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

[Justin Timberlake and his beautiful magician's assistant Evelina Pereira film Gawker's new favorite movie (sorry, "Something Borrowed"), "Friends With Benefits", in Central Park today. Image: INF]

[Day two of Kutcher Watch: The actor still films "Friends with Benefits" in LA; image via Bauer-Griffin]

"Friends with benefits," more like, "friends with herpes." According to one not-at-all-fearmongering researcher, having sex with your friends can speed up the spread of STDs. We recommend the tried-and-true "blogger method" of STD prevention, "never have sex, ever." [CNN]

What would happen if Hollywood’s most boy-crazy, sex-obsessed serial dater hooked up with Hollywood’s most lady-loving, satin-sheet-sex-obsessed player of all players? Well, for one thing we’d write about it. For another thing, the couple in question would most likely spend a sample evening locked in a private New York bar’s room, lorded over by a bodyguard just because they were so frisky they needed 20 minutes to themselves...that very second. Something else they might do? At a private concert thrown by Prince at his infamous party palace, they might escape immediately after feeding each other that always seductive aphrodisiac, bread pudding, into the “labyrinthe corridors leading to [Prince’s] basement” and do, well, what these two stars in question apparently do best: the dirty. Join us after the jump to put some faces to these places:

For almost everyone these days, a post-coital flop on an Ikea couch to watch reruns of Friends in your comfy green Hanes sweatpants alongside your pal in whom you just were is a discomfiting experience. Sure, there might be a vague feeling of reassurance, and probably the sex was fine— but you know it's just gonna get weird between you two. And you are scientifically correct! Odds on you, genius! According to a new study, written about in the Times today, Friends With Benefits relationships often end both the affair and the friendship. So next time you're drunk and horny and alone—sometime in the next 90 minutes, we're thinking—don't dive for your best friend. You should be having sex with your enemies.