It's Friday, and that means one thing: It's Defamer Friday Funtime! Wherein we share something completely stupid with you in the hopes that it will make you smile, possibly kickstarting a weekend of savage self-abuse.

We've already pointed out a chilling similarity between Michael Jackson and Watchmen's Rorschach.

Here they are: your Puppy Bowl V starting lineup. Hopes and expectations are high for all-pro puppyback Eli, coming off another phenomenal year compiling over 4,800 yards passing, 39 touchdowns with only seven waterbowl interceptions.

We'd like to thank the creators of betamaxmas.com for recreating with stunning approximation the experience of sitting around your parents basement circa 1985 and watching TV during the holidays.

We're just going to be up front about this: We have absolutely no good reason to post the above photo, and we're not even going to bother casting Tim Blake Nelson in the Discovery Channel's Zero Gravity: The Incredible True Story of Stephen Hawking's 25 Seconds of Flight to give ourselves even the flimiest of Hollywood tie-ins as an excuse. On a magical Friday morning like this one, when anything seems possible, just knowing that even a 65-year-old genius astrophysicist's wildest dreams can come true is justification enough.