Washington Post media regurgitator Howie Kurtz says that curator of all things journalistic Jim Romenesko was wrong when he said that Kurtz violated the WP's own policy by letting a Fox News flack attack Jon Stewart anonymously in response to Stewart's own (on-the-record) attack of Fox. Kurtz argues that since this was a spokesperson giving the network's official response, their name didn't matter. In the bowels of the Fox News headquarters, the PR department marked Kurtz's name off their enemies list, while finishing a Photoshop mockup of Romenesko morphing into a hyena. [WP, Previously]

Cable news is a hyper-competitive environment full of huge egos fighting with each other for every scrap of a ratings point. And at this time of year, with all the shouting heads descending upon the political convention like a gang of ferrets into a small sack, conflict is inevitable. Plus it's hot, and there's not too much real news anyhow, so everyone is grumpy. After the jump, an illustrated guide to the most vicious feuds in the cable world. Pick your side, demonize your enemies, and play along:

We are pretty sure this is a photoshop. But who knows because it just appeared out of the blue on a Tumblog today, without attribution or sourcing. Maybe crazy Rex is right about this [via] business! It's been tracked back to this demotivational poster, making it already an altered image, though it was presented without that crucial bit of information when it first set down on a the microblogging corner of the internet today, whereupon it was emailed and IM'd to your editors like three times in ten minutes. Now it's been reblogged on god knows how many other Tumbling Logs! So let's play Snopes: find us a clip, guys, because this looks like bullshit. If it's not on MediaMatters it didn't happen. We did crack up last night when the Fox graphics said "ALERT: MRS OBAMA: I LOVE AMERICA" though, among other statements that look hilarious when preceded by "ALERT."

• NBC is leading the ratings with its coverage of the DNC. [TVDecoder]

It has been months now since Fox News' PR machine issued one of its trademark slams of a critic, and we, for one, are happy that they have come off their summer vacations and gone back to work. The target this time: Jon Stewart, darling funnyman of the liberal elite. Surprise! The best part about this new spat: the person who comes off looking worst of all is not Stewart, nor Fox's flack, but rather the Washington Post's vacuous conventional media wisdom purveyor Howie Kurtz. A fight to admire, and a symptom of increased media fragmentation and public alienation! A full recap: The Democratic convention is such a news-bereft wasteland that Stewart was apparently giving a press conference, consisting of him riffing to a roomful of eager reporters. During the course of this, he said that Fox News' "Fair and Balanced" slogan is "the biggest 'fuck you' to people with brains that I've ever seen in my life" and that Chris Wallace is the network's only legit anchor, and that Fox is biased against Obama. Stop the fucking presses, right? But Howie Kurtz, trooper that he is, put in a call to Fox, and came back with this paragraph for his story:

• Barack Obama will appear on the cover of Time for the seventh time this year. [Drudge]

In the tangled web woven by media conglomerates and Web companies, MySpace which is owned by News Corp. under Fox Interactive Media has a partnership with news broadcaster MSNBC — the cable partnership between Microsoft and NBC. Fox News, another News Corp. property and direct MSNBC competitor, has now signed a deal with Facebook, which counts Microsoft as the lead investor. Admitting that Facebook is now leading MySpace in the social networking space, Fox News VP of development Joel Cheatwood told reporter Brian Stelter, "They also have a user that’s a little older and a little more sophisticated." Enough with the diplomatic double-speak, Cheatwood — tell us what you really think.

91-year-old actor Ernest Borgnine doesn't look a day over 86, and so it was that when the Golden Globe-brandisher stopped by Fox & Friends to chat about his new book, the hosts demanded to know how he could still look so darned good. Botox? Volumizing? A deal with the devil (or ICM)? None of the above, replied the actor, instead leaning in to whisper, "I masturbate a lot." Sadly, Borgie didn't appear to realize that his mic would still pick up those whispers and beam the Oscar winner's chicken-jerking secret across the globe. Still, we can't wait for the day that masturbation becomes an age-defying staple of salons everywhere (though we've heard there's some "health spas" in West Hollywood where it's already common practice). [Fox News]

On the defensive after appearing in a Snickers commercial yanked for homophobia due to its swishy speedwalker, 80's icon Mr. T appeared on The O'Reilly Factor and made it up to gays everywhere the only way he knows how: with glorious, glorious camp. The arm-wrestling brawler immediately produced a long-winded, written defense which he then read from on air; highlights include the passages, "I have been pitying fools for 28 years, Biiiiiill," "Speedwalking is an Olympic sport," and desperate pleas for someone, anyone, to talk to "SPEEDWALKA!" for his reaction. T particularly triggered our sympathy (not pity, we leave that to the experts) when he whined, "On The A-Team, I called the bad guys a disgrace because they was harassin' helpless people. No problems. No complaints." Too true, T. Compared to GLAAD, those bad guy lobbyists really need to get it together. [Amy Proctor Blog]

As Montauk Monstergate continues, the national news media has begun to take notice (and drink companies are trying to piggyback on the buzz). The breezy wind-up toys at Fox News did a segment on our little creature friend (who I suppose we can now call Monty, as suggested by a commenter) this morning, bringing on noted animal expert and possible crazy person Jeff Corwin to resolve the matter. There he sat, reporting live from my beloved home city of Boston, and lied to America. "It's a dog, or a raccoon" he said with shifty eyes. Whatever government agent was off camera almost certainly had a gun leveled right at Corwin's head (or, you know, some hell beast agent of the Dark was pointing a talon). When will this vast conspiracy unravel? When will these portents be accepted as auguring the end of days? For what it's worth, the Fox news lady doesn't believe Corwin's awful lies, because she Wants to Believe. This is a monster folks, plain and simple. I mean, Fox news ladies know their own kind. (Also, "you saw it here first yesterday"? Puhhleeze.) Clip is above.

Oh, look, someone's left those floodgates ajar. Fox News "independently verified" the Enquirer story that John Edwards met with Rielle Hunter and her baby at the Beverly Hilton late one night. Their story is written in a lovely tone—equal parts sensationalistic and "reporting on what this nasty tabloid claims" careful prudishness. Now the Enquirer reporters are suing the Beverly Hills Police Department, because hotel security didn't let them have their gotcha moment. Huh. This means, as they note, that "Edwards now could be contacted by police to give an eyewitness account of what occurred." Hah. Have a great weekend!

Today on Fox News' morning show Fox & Friends, discussion turned to well-hung soccer star David Beckham. And cohost Brian Kilmeade got outed for having a big gay crush on him! Female co-anchor Gretchen Carlson says he called Beckham "gorgeous," which leaves Brian tongue-tied like a (gay) little schoolgirl. He mumbles about how, hey, anybody can tell Beckham is attractive; then heterosexual cohost Steve Doocy looks at him with an expression that says, "Sure, flamer." Then Kilmeade runs off the set in embarassment-probably to go masturbate to a picture of David Beckham. Click to watch this stunning example of News Corp.'s homosexuality exposed.

Kudos today to James Hibberd, the Hollywood Reporter TV blogger who is perhaps the only reason we have any clue (or rather, care to have any clue) about the horrors unfolding presently at the Television Critics Association summer press tour. Apparently the Florence Henderson/Ed Asner days are over, with the one-two punch of confirmed buddies Karl Rove and Seth MacFarlane taking over Monday as the off-color star tandem to beat.

Brit Hume, who is sort of one of the least objectionable Fox News personalities while also embodying all the terrible and wrong things about that network (it's a corrective to liberal bias!!) (that's rich coming from a formerly "objective" reporter with plum gigs at the broadcast networks despite his open conservativism), is leaving the network. Sort of. He's quitting his job anchoring Special Report every night but he'll still be on the channel as a panelist on Fox News Sunday and whenever else he feels like appearing. It's not clear why he's quitting now, except that his contract is up. Also maybe Megyn Kendall broke his heart when she ended their affair and married some other dope in March. [NYT]

Today in Slate, writer Christopher Beam accepts full responsibility for the phrase "terrorist fist-jab" in reference to Barack Obama's exchange of daps with his wife. This characterization contributed to Fox blonde E.D. Hill losing her television show, only to be replaced by Laura Ingraham! (Is E.D. back? Can someone watch Fox and check on this?) How is this Beam's fault? Because he wrote an item about how a random commenter on a political blog used the phrase "Hezbollah-style fist jab," and then that item ended up on other blogs, and then E.D. kinda changed it and said it on TV without explaining it, making it sound like a common response to the harmless gesture. You see? All Beam's fault! And in other "kind of apologizing for other people's idiocy" news, Fox has apologized for photoshopping two New York Times reporters! Sort of!

Talk radio superstar Laura Ingraham (the top-rated lady host on the airwaves!) finally got her own television show on Fox News after acting as Bill O'Reilly's official guest-host for 100 years. It lasted for three weeks! In part because she's strenuously unpleasant, as these ten minutes of her preparing for air demonstrate. Once again, Harry Shearer's magical satellite dish captures off-air television gold. Watch as Laura requests that you don't come in her ear and complains of a strange Hispanic gentlemen showing up in her prompter. (Fun fact: she used to date Keith Olbermann like ten years ago!) Clip below. Enjoy.

Fox News chairman Roger Ailes bought his very first newspaper! It's a tiny paper, upstate, and was a gift to his his third wife, or at least that's the cover story. The wife, Elizabeth Ailes, is a former NBC News executive and big supporter of George W. Bush who told the Times (the Times? go figure) the "quaint paper" will "probably stay the same." In other words, the staff is already learning how to work Keith Olbermann insults into virtually any story, and reporters for competing community papers should start burning their garbage. [Times]

At one time-1994, specifically-Nas was the king of New York, and the greatest rapper alive. Over successive albums he got somewhat less great. But he did a good job of scoring free publicity for his new album by naming it "Nigger," then, predictably, being forced to change it. You have to like him though-he's the kind of guy who tells the WSJ that he envisions the hip hop nation growing old and "going to Snoop Dogg concerts in the meadow." And he has this sweet Fox News dis track out too. You all (meaning "Briganti & Co.") should have memorized it by now:

Don't think for a second that Fox News has a monopoly on vicious, personal attacks against its media competitors. Daniel Saynt (pictured, left) of the blog Fashion Indie is in his own, particularly bitchy catfight with Sarah Conley and Julie Frederickson (pictured, right) of Coutorture. The battle started with a racial insult, then progressed to trash talking and now involves unflattering photos. And one gets the feeling that, when all is said and done, it's going to make the despicably nasty Fox-Times brawl look like a tea party. The whole thing started when Saynt wrote the following noxious critique of Vogue's Andre Leon Talley:

It's not even been 24 hours since Bill O'Reilly told Fox News viewers the cable channel was not airing footage of Jesse Jackson's "more damaging" comments (beyond wanting to "rip [Barack Obama's] nuts off") "because we didn't feel it had any relevance to the conversation this evening" and also because "we're not out to get Jesse Jackson." Now, with rumors swirling inside Fox News (and on this site) that Jackson used a racial slur, the network may be having a change of heart. Fox News VP Bill Shine told the LA Times for tomorrow's paper that "news executives were in discussions about whether to air more of the tape." Could it air on O'Reilly's show tonight? If it does, lord knows how anyone in the news media will manage to cover Jackson saying the "n-word," given how tongue-tied everyone got about a simple testicle-removal threat. After the jump, a very funny 23/6 compilation of cable news correspondents making like the Times and getting all tongue-tied about the first bad thing Jackson said.