Yesterday, Fox Business Network interviewed an "online shopper" named Peter Perweiler who turned out to be the marketing director for the National Retail Federation. The NRF says it organized a media event so reporters could interview "real" shoppers. Silicon Alley Insider got one explanation from the NRF. We got another, very different explanation, from Fox News.
Fox Business conducted "man-on-the-street" interviews for "Cyber Monday." (Note: I want to gouge my eyes out when I hear that ridiculous name, myth or not.) The object? To see if people really were shopping online more. Let's not even get into the question of why Fox thought they'd find people shopping online if they were interviewed on the street. Even so, a Fox reporter found Peter Perweiler at the ESPN Zone in Washington, D.C.
Whoever organized last night's party to celebrate the launch of Fox Business Network at the Metropolitan Museum of Art had a good sense of history. Held in the shadow of the Temple of Dendur, one had to wind through the sarcophagi and statues of pharaohs and gods of dynasties past. Inside, Rupert Murdoch's disembodied voice addressed his Praetorian guard. Soon we too saw the unusually lithe Murdoch. He had a glass of something in his hands. "America has the best companies," he was saying. Jack Welch, former CEO of GE, listened raptly. Rupert's fave deputy, Roger "The Penguin" Ailes, smoothed his tie and blinked his eyes. Sundry dynastic scions mingled: Lauren Bush, Ivanka Trump, her messed-up brother Donald Jr., Jared Kushner, all gathered under the bas relief of vultures. Nikola Tamindzic was there to capture the captains and dames of industry.
For all the industry analysis and hullabaloo over Fox Business Network's debut today (The market strategy! The innovation! The jargon-free-zone!), fact is? With this cast of Benetton hotties reading the news, ratings can't be too far behind, no matter what kind of news-network-as-revolution shtick their marketing team is putting out there. We found all these ladies in just five minutes of airtime. For those of you not interested in the Victoria's Secret Network, FBN offers you the spectacle of watching a 60-year-old anchor introduce a segment by welcoming his viewers thusly: "Glad you could join us on this, our first day. [To which Cheryl Casone pumps fist and actually says "Woohoo!"] Hopefully you'll come back and visit us over and over as we become this, like, family." Like, totally, Tom Sullivan. Woohoo!
Former Hewlett-Packard CEO Carly Fiorina has signed on to be a Fox Business Network contributor. According to the press release, Fiorina achieved the highest rate of innovation in company history. How they measure that metric is a mystery to us; after all, shortly after Fiorina left, the company engaged in some highly innovative leak-detection practices, leading to the resignation of several board members. But never mind that. The only stat that will likely matter to Fox's Joe-Sixpack audience, sadly, is how short her skirt is.
Fox Business Network "could end up looking a lot like CNBC, at least during the trading day." Roger Ailes "tried to entice superstar Jim Cramer... Ailes will probably approach the network's other brand name, Maria Bartiromo, whom he first put on air in 1993, when her contract expires in two years... And he may be interested in hiring Liz Claman, the former CNBC anchor, after her noncompete agreement ends in mid-October." Also: Rupert Murdoch might be considering a cash settlement to end the exclusive arrangement between CNBC and the Wall Street Journal. UPDATE: Well, that may not be true about Jim Cramer. Apparently no one wants him, no matter what he puts out there! [BW]
